Urgency Comic Strips
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12 Results for Urgency
View 1 - 10 results for urgency comic strips. Discover the best "Urgency" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 01,
2012
Tags #being freightened, #creepy vibe, #leadership, #obsolete, #public speaking, #sense of urgency, #thread the needle, #tech platforms
Transcript
Dogbert: You need to imbue your staff with a sense of urgency. Boss: Gaaa!!! Our technology platforms are obsolete! Dogbert: Try it again with less panic. Boss: We're doomed, and yet, I am not the least bit worried. Dogbert: That one had a creepy vibe. A sense of urgency is halfway between being too frightened to act and too dumb to know what to do. Boss: Gaaa!!! Duh!!! Dogbert: You didn't quite thread the needle. Boss: Here comes leadership!
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Thursday June 13,
1996
Tags #artificial urgency, #gibberish, #god news, #mission, #objectives uncler, #insane but happy
Transcript
The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Wally says, "Our objectives are unclear and our mission statement is gibberish . . ." Wally continues, "But thanks to an artificial sense of urgency, I'm working harder than ever!" The Boss asks, "What's the good news you said you have?" Wally answers, "Apparently I'm insane. But I'm one of the happy kinds!"
Saturday December 26,
1998
Tags #maintain urgency, #speed is key, #faster than competition, #sign stuff, #logical questions, #motivational messages
Transcript
The boss says, "WE must maintain a sense of urgency. Speed is the key. We must be faster than the competition." Dilbert says, "Does that mean you'll sign the stuff that's been on your desk for a month?" Dilbert is at home. Dilbert says, to Dogbert, "Logical questions don't mix with motivational messages."
Monday October 27,
2003
Tags #lunch time, #barely came late, #work, #eat, #plaumbing, #read apaper, #non urgency, #moring at offcie, #slacker, #stale job
Transcript
"Are you going to lunch?" "Lunch already?" "Sheesh! I barely had time to come late to work, eat breakfast, use the plumbing and read the paper." "You take your non-work seriously." "I'm trying to develop a sense of non-urgency."
Thursday December 11,
2003
Tags #insincere optimism, #artificial sense of urgency, #delusion, #work for challenge, #not money, #good ideas, #sound bad
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm developing an insincere optimism to complement my artificial sense of urgency. Dilbert: I hope to top it off with a delusion that I work for the challenge and not the money. The Boss: How can you make good ideas sound so bad? Dilbert: Im an engineer.
Monday July 30,
2007
Tags #automated sytem, #arbitrary deadline, #work smarter, #not harder, #sense of urgency, #get work done
Transcript
Dilbert: "I can't develop an automated testing system by the arbitrary deadline you set." The Boss: "Try working smarter, not harder, with a sense of urgency, and a bias for action." Dilbert: "Or maybe you could do something differently." The Boss: "I'm not the one who can't get his work done."
Monday February 18,
2013
Tags #laziness, #sense of urgency, #energy, #pretend to work, #fake urgency, #vague goals, #health
Transcript
Boss: We need to have a sense of urgency. Wally: I use most of my energy pretending to work, but I can add a layer of fake urgency if you really need it. Boss: What? Wally: I gotta go! I have vague goals to achieve!
Saturday September 20,
2008
Tags #out of coffee, #false sense, #urgency, #stress, #project, #finish project, #aftrenoon
Transcript
Dilbert says, "We're out of coffee." Dilbert says, "Can you give me a false sense of urgency and some unnecessary stress to compensate?" The Boss says, "Finish your project before our CEO stops by on Tuesday." Dilbert says, "Perfect. I'll see you this afternoon for a second cup."
Wednesday March 02,
2016
False Sense Of Urgency
Tags #guest artist, #managers, #motivation, #personality disorder, #sociopath, #strategy, #john glynn
Transcript
Boss: I don't think I'm doing enough to create a false sense of urgency. Catbert: Are you still a sociopath? Boss: That's the easy part. Catbert: Now add a meaningless deadline and some fear.