Use Our Phones Comic Strips
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682 Results for Use Our Phones
View 1 - 10 results for use our phones comic strips. Discover the best "Use Our Phones" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 22,
2008
Tags #date, #perfect, #low entertainment value, #use our phones, #surf the internet, #call it a date, #perfect woman
Transcript
Tina: This conversation has a low entertainment value. Let's just use our phones to surf the internet, and call it a date. Dilbert: I don't use the phrase "perfect woman" often... Tina: Shhh
Monday October 01,
2018
Use Company Products
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #asok, #alice, #attention, #products, #required, #use, #bad, #sign
Transcript
The Boss: It has come to my attention that none of you use the products we make. From now on you are all required to use our products. Asok: Aaaarg!!! Dilbert: Shoot me. The Boss: That's a bad sign. Wally: Nooo!!!
Wednesday June 29,
2011
Tags #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #new phone, #recommendations, #dropped calls, #poor battery life, #hate the messenger, #build phones
Transcript
Carol: I need a new phone. Which one do you recommend? Dilbert: Do you want to be angry about your dropped calls or angry about your poor battery life? Don't hate the messenger. Carol: People similar to you build phones.
Tuesday July 12,
2011
Tags #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #fascinating, #twitter, #keep boss happy
Transcript
Wally: You fascinate me. I think I speak for all of your followers on Twitter when I say we want more, more, more. Dilbert: You don't use Twitter. Wally: I just used it to keep my boss busy.
Wednesday August 03,
2011
Tags #computers & peripherals, #gadgets, #intergenerational relations, #grandpa box, #phones, #tablets, #laptop, #text the 90s
Transcript
Asok: Are you getting a lot done on the grandpa box? Dilbert: The what? Asok: The people in my generation do our work on our phones and tablets. Dilbert: I also have a laptop. Asok: I'll text the nineties and let them know.
Thursday June 13,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dilemma, #company, #discouraging, #drug, #use, #constitutional, #rights, #straightest, #path, #mud, #rationalize
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and says to Dogbert, "It's an ethical dilemma . . . I support my company's goal of discouraging drug use, but the random drug testing policy is a violation of my constitutional rights." Dilbert continues, "I'll get fired if I refuse the test. What is the ethical thing to do?" Dogbert replies, "Hack into their computer and change your Boss's test results." Dilbert sits at his computer and says, "Sometimes the straightest path is through the mud." Dogbert says, "Good, rationalize it with an obtuse metaphor."
Monday December 16,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #technology, #Dilbert, #tiny, #pcs, #phone, #phones, #new, #newest, #call, #progress, #annoying
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Dogbert, I got tiny 'PCS' phones for both of us." Dilbert continues, "It's the newest technology! I'll be able to call you at any time, no matter where we are!" The phone sits on the pillow next to Dogbert. As it rings, Dogbert thinks, "Why must all progress start out as something annoying?"
Wednesday March 30,
1994
Tags #use tail, #operate mouse, #engineers, #no tail, #rocky, #new programmer
Transcript
Dilbert: Zimbu, you're not supposed to use your tail to operate the mouse. If tails were a natural advantage for engineers then evolution would provide usual with tails! The Boss: Dilbert, I don't believe you've met Rocky, out new C programmer.
Tuesday January 17,
1995
Tags #volume of work, #quiet leadership, #inspires us, #promote, #manager, #work ethic, #use documents, #heat house, #job offering, #writing
Transcript
The Boss sees Dilbert carrying a stack of paper and says, "We've all noticed the volume of work you carry around. Your quiet leadership inspires us." The Boss continues, "I'd like to promote you to manager so you can imbue others with your work ethic." At home, Dilbert loads the paper into the furnace while Dogbert watches. Dogbert asks, "Does he know you use the documents to heat our house?" Dilbert replies, "No. And I asked him to put the job offer in writing."
Saturday September 23,
1995
Tags #found software, #performance evaluations, #same company, #fortune cookies, #buy new car, #use pc
Transcript
The Boss approaches Wally and Dilbert. The Boss says, "I found software that helps managers write performance evaluations!" Dilbert and Wally both say, "Uh-oh." The Boss continues, "It's made by the same company that makes fortune cookies for Canada!" Wally says, "That makes me feel better." The caption says, "Next Day." The Boss offers Wally and Dilbert small strips of paper. Dilbert says, "I didn't think you knew how to use a PC." The Boss replies, "My secretary wrote these." Wally reads a strip aloud, "Don't by a new car."