Use Spoon Comic Strips

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612 Results for Use Spoon

View 1 - 10 results for use spoon comic strips. Discover the best "Use Spoon" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #negotiations, #legal liabilities, #revenue, #patents, #public credit, #dig swimming pool, #use spoon

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Negotiations Dilbert: so far we've agreed that my company will take all the expenses and legal liabilities. Dilbert: your company will take all of the revenue, patents and public credit. But where it says I"ll dig you a swimming pool with my bare hands I will not do that. You win! You can use a spoon!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 1999's comic on:


Tags #reliable computer, #use software, #poing a spoon, #hole in back, #doing it worng

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Dilmom is at a computer store. The salesman says, "This is our most reliable computer, unless you try to use software." The salesman says, "It'll freeze several times a day. But you can restart it by poking a spoon into a hole in the back." Dilbert's mom says, "Has that ever worked?" The salesman says, "We think people are doing it wrong."

Use Company Products

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Use Company Products - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #asok, #alice, #attention, #products, #required, #use, #bad, #sign

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The Boss: It has come to my attention that none of you use the products we make. From now on you are all required to use our products. Asok: Aaaarg!!! Dilbert: Shoot me. The Boss: That's a bad sign. Wally: Nooo!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dilemma, #company, #discouraging, #drug, #use, #constitutional, #rights, #straightest, #path, #mud, #rationalize

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Dilbert sits in his chair and says to Dogbert, "It's an ethical dilemma . . . I support my company's goal of discouraging drug use, but the random drug testing policy is a violation of my constitutional rights." Dilbert continues, "I'll get fired if I refuse the test. What is the ethical thing to do?" Dogbert replies, "Hack into their computer and change your Boss's test results." Dilbert sits at his computer and says, "Sometimes the straightest path is through the mud." Dogbert says, "Good, rationalize it with an obtuse metaphor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1991's comic on:


Tags #bob, #Dogbert, #milkshake, #thick, #spoon

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Dogbert and Bob the Dinosaur sit at the table. Dogbert asks, "Is your milkshake too thick, Bob?" Bob sucks on the straw. Dogbert says, "Here, try a spoon." Bob sucks on the spoon.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 1994's comic on:


Tags #use tail, #operate mouse, #engineers, #no tail, #rocky, #new programmer

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Dilbert: Zimbu, you're not supposed to use your tail to operate the mouse. If tails were a natural advantage for engineers then evolution would provide usual with tails! The Boss: Dilbert, I don't believe you've met Rocky, out new C programmer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #volume of work, #quiet leadership, #inspires us, #promote, #manager, #work ethic, #use documents, #heat house, #job offering, #writing

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The Boss sees Dilbert carrying a stack of paper and says, "We've all noticed the volume of work you carry around. Your quiet leadership inspires us." The Boss continues, "I'd like to promote you to manager so you can imbue others with your work ethic." At home, Dilbert loads the paper into the furnace while Dogbert watches. Dogbert asks, "Does he know you use the documents to heat our house?" Dilbert replies, "No. And I asked him to put the job offer in writing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 1995's comic on:


Tags #found software, #performance evaluations, #same company, #fortune cookies, #buy new car, #use pc

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The Boss approaches Wally and Dilbert. The Boss says, "I found software that helps managers write performance evaluations!" Dilbert and Wally both say, "Uh-oh." The Boss continues, "It's made by the same company that makes fortune cookies for Canada!" Wally says, "That makes me feel better." The caption says, "Next Day." The Boss offers Wally and Dilbert small strips of paper. Dilbert says, "I didn't think you knew how to use a PC." The Boss replies, "My secretary wrote these." Wally reads a strip aloud, "Don't by a new car."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1996's comic on:


Tags #first email, #message, #how to use email, #forgot watch, #change jobs

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Dilbert leans out his cubicle door and yells, "Hey, Wally! The Boss sent his first e-mail message!" Dilbert says to Wally who stands behind him, "And you said he wasn't bright enough to figure out how to use e-mail!" Wally asks, "What's his message?" Dilbert reads the message, "I forgot my watch. Does anybody know what time it is?" Wally says, "Time to change jobs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #dierctor, #eliminate sick days, #evil human resources, #too much time off, #use vacation days, #demons of darkness

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Catbert stands on the desk and thinks, "The employees have too much time off. It must be stopped." Catbert waves his arms and shouts, "I summon the demons of Darkness to assist me!!!" Catbert sits on the monitor while Phil, the demon of Heck, says, ". . . Eliminate sick days. Make them use vacation days when they're ill. Call it a 'time bank.'" Catbert says, "It's playful . . . It's cruel . . . I like it."