Witch: So... You've come to the accounting department for an explanation of the budget report, aye? Unchain him, Bradley. Normally we would torture and kill you for questioning our report.
Dilbert: But you realized that my questions are valid?
Witch: No. I'm promoting Bradley. You're my new analyst.
Dogbert: I'm writing a book of my guesses about future trends.
If it gets published then my guesses will seem more valid than other peoples. I'll charge huge fees to share my 'vision" with audiences.
Dilbert: Why would people pay huge fees for guesses?
Dogbert: Trend number one is that people aren't getting any smarter.
A female employee asks The Boss, "Our numbers are way down. What should we do?" The Boss replies, "Reorganize the department so there's no valid history for comparison." The Boss continues, "Then we'll fire a few people and give ourselves awards for saving money." The employee scrunches up her paper and mutters, "El Diablo."
Boss: You can't compare apples and oranges. Dilbert: That's clearly wrong because you just compared them and declared them different. Wally: Apples and oranges are both foods that grow on trees. It would be totally valid to compare them nutritionally. Dilbert: I've noticed that a lot of what comes out of your mouth makes no sense. Boss: You sound like my wife. Wally: You can't compare your wife to your subordinate. That's apples and oranges. Boss: What is happening here? Wally: I don't know, but I wouldn't compare it to work.
