Very Advanced Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

232 Results for Very Advanced

View 1 - 10 results for very advanced comic strips. Discover the best "Very Advanced" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #baby cio, #meeting, #diapers, #nature calls, #big words, #very advanced, #baby, #infany, #genius, #smart, #talks, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

ALICE: have you met the new CIO? Dilbert: No. Alice: I hear he's young. New Cio: Hello. We need to integrate our enterprise resource planning with our existing E-commerce platform. Now if you'll excuse me. Nature Calls. AAAHHH.... Then we'll decentralize the procurement function and....hold on a second. Gramps could you do me a huge favor?

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #aliens, #abductiving, #probe, #body, #cavities, #implant, #objects, #advanced, #medical, #research, #round, #pellet, #prober, #nose

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "We can only speculate why aliens keep abducting people." Dilbert continues, "They often probe people's body cavities. Sometimes they implant small objects. It must be some form of highly advanced medical research." An alien says to another alien, "How about another round of 'Hide the Pellet?'" The other alien holds up an instrument and replies, "Okay. I can use my nose prober."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buzzword bingo, #buzzword, #very attentive, #proactive leadership, #bingo

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "Here's your 'buzzword bingo' card for the meeting." Wally: "If the boss uses a buzzword on your card, you check it off. The objective is to fill a row." The Boss: "You're all very attentive today. My proactive leadership must be working!" Wally: "Bingo, sir."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sell comapny, #very discriminating, #hate people, #laws to protect, #lazy but funny

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk and addresses Wally, Dilbert and the Boss. Dogbert says, "I've decided to sell the company for a huge profit. I found some very discriminating buyers." Wally asks Dogbert, "When you say discriminating, you mean . . . ?" Dogbert answers, "They hate people from this country." Wally says to Dilbert, "It's okay. We have laws to protect us." One Elbonian says to the other, "They're lazy, but at least they're funny!" The other laughs, "Hee hee." The Boss looks shocked.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #change, #prehistoric times, #ancestors, #caves, #grunting, #not very productive, #all day long

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk and faces Wally who is holding a cup of coffee. Dilbert says to Wally, "It's amazing how much we've changed since prehistoric times." Dilbert continues, "Our ancestors just sat around in caves, grunting and drawing on the wall." Wally comments, "Not very productive." Dilbert draws crude pictures on the blackboard in his cubicle. He tells Wally, "It was just this, all day long." Wally answers, "Mmm. Yup."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #consulting partner, #jobs outsiurced, #stooped over, #very bad ergo nomics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands on a desk next to Ratbert, who is bending over. Dogbert points to Ratbert and says, "My consulting partner, Ratbert, will demonstrate how to inform employees that their jobs will be outsourced." As he kicks Ratbert off the desk and into a trash can, Dogbert says, "You're history. Scram." The Boss asks, "How do I get them all stooped over?" Dogbert replies, "I recommend a program of very bad ergonomics."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advanced material, #designing at work, #good batch, #pyrophoric mean

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Liz sit at a table looking at various containers. Liz says, "These are some of the advanced materials I'm designing at work. That jar holds a pyrophoric substance." Dilbert picks it up and says, "Let's see." The jar explodes in his face. Dilbert looks charred and small clouds of smoke rise from his head. He says, "Yep, that's a good batch." Liz says, "A person from a smarter gender might have said 'What does "pyrophoric" mean?'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #injury free days, #very ironic, #chart injuries, #falls, #putting up sign accident

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks by a workman standing on a chair and nailing a sign to the wall. The sign says, "10 Injury Free Days." Dilbert hears, "Bam! Aaaeeii!! R-r-roll thud." Dilbert stands over the workman who has fallen off the chair. Dilbert says, "This is very ironic." The workman says, "No, it was ironic when it happened eleven days ago."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart institure, #advanced thinking, #ending pverty, #televison, #wretched lives, #paid guests, #straggler cops

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair and tells Dilbert, "Here in the 'Dogbert Institute for Advanced Thinking,' I have devised a plan for ending poverty." Dogbert continues, "My plan is to wait until there are so many talk shows on television that all the people with wretched lives can be paid guests." Dilbert asks, "What about the poor people who don't want to be on talk shows?" Dogbert replies, "We'll get the stragglers on 'Cops.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #very annoying, #see therpaist, #emotional problem, #misinterprets speech

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert sits on top of Dilbert's monitor and says, "I've become one of those people who misinterprets everything you say." Dilbert asks, "Why?" Ratbert says, "Why? Are you saying that nothing should ever change? Maybe you shouldn't be so rigid." Dilbert says, "This could be very annoying." Ratbert replies, "Maybe you should see a therapist for your emotional problem."