Wally stacks binders on his desk chair and tells Dilbert, ". . . And if I pile enough binders on my chair I'll have a window view!" Wally stands on his chair and looks over the cubicle wall. Dilbert thinks as he walks away, "I've got to try that." The Boss hands Ted a binder and says, "Wow! I've never seen so much interest in our business plan!" Ted asks, "Can I have two?" Behind them, Dilbert, Wally and their co-workers stand on their chairs looking out of their cubicles.
Alice asks Wally, "How do you like your new smoking habit?" Wally replies, "My teeth turned yellow, my breath is putrid, I'm a social outcast, I'm going broke, and my house burned down." Alice asks, "So you're going to quit?" Wally replies, "No, I'm trying to take a long term view of it."
Dilbert holds his box of stuff and Wally holds the office floorplan. Wally says, "According to the blueprints, your new cubicle has a support beam in it." Dilbert stands in his cubicle which is taken up mostly by a huge support beam. He thinks, "At least I have a window view." At home, Dilbert looks disheveled and sweats. He says, "It's one hundred-eight degrees by the window but at least there's a breeze from the people who walk by and laugh." Dogbert sits on the arm of the couch and says, "Don't let me slow your search for someone who's interested."
Wally says to the Boss, "Demons have possessed my PC. They force me to view websites of unspeakable abominations." Wally continues, "The only solution is for you to approve the purchase of a new PC for me." Dilbert approaches Wally, now sitting at his computer and asks, "How are the unspeakable abominations today?" Wally replies, "Much faster."
Dilbert: "Lately, every person I deal with seems to disappoint me."
Dilbert: "Every meeting starts late, every answer is misleading, every deadline is ignored, and all work is shoddily done."
DIlbert: "I guess what I'm saying is that today I need some empathy."
Dogbert: "You are totally blocking my view of the wall."
The boss: "Remember, if you're not the lead dog, the view never changes."
Carol: "I'm not the lead dog, and I have to look at your face all day.
The Boss: "What are you implying?"
Carol: "I was admiring your insightful analogy."
"Who's today's guest cartoonist?"
Dilbert: "I'm so happy in my new spacious office with an ocean view."
"Finally I have the workplace I've always dreamed of."
Wally: "The personalized environment headset works, sir."
The boss: "Brad Pitt! Shouldn't you put a shirt on?"
ANSER: GO TO DILBERT.COM
Dogbert the real estate agent
"When it rains the sewer backs up and covers the driveway."
"Lake view."
"Every spring rabid squirrels rip off huge chunks of the roof to look for food."
"Seasonal skylight."
"The dry brush behind the house is a fire hazard."
"Potential, fireplace."
Tina: Is it awkward being in the same meeting as a cooler version of yourself? Scoot back so I can get a clear view. This guy really makes my engine purr. A little more.
The Boss says, "I don't need to know the details. Just give me the high altitude view." Dilbert says, "From a high altitude we're all a bunch of termites trying to eat the same log." The Boss says, "Maybe drill down a little more." Dilbert says, "The termites hate each other."
