Violence Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

45 Results for Violence

View 1 - 10 results for violence comic strips. Discover the best "Violence" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1989's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #violence, #beautiful, #Dilbert, #conquer, #butter knife

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I've been thinking how wonderful it would be if all people renounced violence forever." Dilbert turns around and says, "That's a beautiful thought, Dogbert." Dogbert says as he walks away, "If nobody else was violent, I could conquer the whole stupid planet with just a butter knife."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 1992's comic on:

Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #violent, #movies, #lab, #animal behavior, #parents, #studying, #inured, #violence, #gnaw

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Ratbert sit on a stone wall. Ratbert says, "All week I've been watching violent movies at the lab." Ratbert continues, "A group of parents are studying me to see if I become inured to violence." Dogbert asks, "Are you?" Ratbert replies, "Yeah. I'm planning to gnaw the parents to death tomorrow."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1995's comic on:

Tags #performance this year, #tasks, #tiny raise, #boss asigned, #bonus, #keeping salaries low, #workplace violence

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk and Dilbert sits across from him. The Boss tells Dilbert, "Your performance this year was good, but you worked on tasks that aren't important. Therefore you get a tiny raise." Dilbert looks angry as he replies, "I worked on the tasks YOU assigned. What's that say about YOUR performance?" The Boss replies, "It's excellent. I get a bonus for keeping salaries low." Dilbert asks, "Have you seen any literature on workplace violence?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1996's comic on:

Tags #another company benefit, #new policy forbids, #permit, #season, #use of weapons, #violence, #workplace

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new policy forbids the use of weapons or any violence in the workplace." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Ummm . . . What was the policy before this?" The Boss responds, "I'm not sure . . . Maybe if you had a permit and it was in season." Wally says, "There goes another company benefit."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2000's comic on:

Tags #work place violence, #prevention training, #violent emplyees, #identify, #beards, #creepy, #ineffective males, #widely disprected

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says to the group, "Welcome to workplace violence prevention training." Tina continues, "How can we identify potentially violent employees?" Wally raises his hand excitedly yelling, "Ooh! Ooh!" Tina says, "Wally?" Wally answers, "Do they have beards?" Tina replies, "Um...no. That was a stupid answer." Tina says, "Violent employees are usually creepy, inefficiently males who are widely disrespected." Dilbert raises his hand and asks Tina, "May I change seats?"

Dilbert Characters

Alice Is Highest Paid Engineer

Thank you for voting.
Alice Is Highest Paid Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2015's comic on:

Tags #discrimination, #money, #salary, #sexism, #violence, #wages, #Women, #highest paid, #sciccors, #mallet, #reputation

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm the highest-paid engineer in the department now. Dilbert: Does it have anything to do with those scissors, the mallet, and your reputation for violence? Alice: Would you ask a man that question? Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's like a super-power!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2011's comic on:

Tags #employees, #violence, #burt nount, #started yesterday, #sneezed away, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Hi, my name is Burnt Nount. I started here yesterday. Alice: Sneeze coming. AAACHOOO!! I gotta warn you, they come in threes.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2011's comic on:

Tags #rebellions, #riots, #violence, #rebel army, #social justice, #iron fisted dictator, #billionaire, #stain, #tank tread, #looting, #excited animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm forming a rebel army. Ratbert: Count me in! What are we fighting for? Dogbert: You'll be fighting for social justice and I'll be scheming to become an iron-fisted dictator. In the long run, I'll be a billionaire and you'll be a stain on a tank tread. Ratbert: Please, please say there will be looting.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1989's comic on:

Tags #news, #newspaper, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert holds up a newspaper and says to Dilbert, "Look! I've created the world's first completely reusable newspaper." Dilbert reads from the newspaper, "Pope denounces violence . . . Home prices rise . . . Unrest in the Mideast . . ." Dogbert says, "Generic news!" Dilbert reaches into his pocket and asks, "How much?" Dogbert holds out his paw and says, "A thousand bucks. You'll never need another one."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1992's comic on:

Tags #violence, #the boss, #employee, #humor, #tension, #creativity, #slam

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to an employee, "I'm using humor at work to ease tension and improve our creativity." The Boss slams the man's head into his keyboard and laughs. The Boss walks away leaving the man looking dazed. The Boss thinks, "That loosened him up."