Virtually Untectable Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

6 Results for Virtually Untectable

View 1 - 6 results for virtually untectable comic strips. Discover the best "Virtually Untectable" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #selling confidential data base, #customer information, #profitable, #virtually untectable, #highly unethical, #modern times, #facebook, #commercial, #branding

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Did you ever think about selling our confidential data-base of customer information? It would be massively profitable while virtually undetectable, Catbert: But highly unethical. The boss: I don't know you any more. Catbert: Im yanking your chain . when do we start?

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #senator, #axxe, #embracing, #elected, #opera, #boycott, #chair, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Senator Newt Axxes' Office. Senator Axxe: Mister Dogbert makes a strong argument for banning opera. Man: The polls show that almost nobody cares about this issue... There's virtually no political risk in embracing it! Senator Axxe: Until they scrape your festering corpse out of that chair!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert the consultant, #warranty replacements, #customers, #repeat customers

View Transcript

Transcript

DOGBERT THE CONSULTANT Dogbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "You can gauge your success by the number of repeat customers you have." The Boss says, "I'm proud to say that virtually every customer gets another unit within three months of buying the first one!" Dogbert asks, "What if you don't count warranty replacements?" The Boss replies, "Ooh . . . Then we don't look so good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales questions, #vice presdient, #talk to boss, #questions, #confusion, #chaos, #time management

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "Where do you think you're going?" Asok: "I need to ask our VP of sales a question." Wally: "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" "You can't speak directly with a vice president." "You need to talk to your boss, who talks to his boss, who talks to someone who is friends with the VP of sales, who then talks to him." Asok: "Wouldn't that virtually guarantee that the wrong question gets asked?" Wally: "It's better to have the right person ask the wrong question than the wrong person ask the right questions." Asok: "Do you have a minute?" The Boss: "Talk to my secretary."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm thinking about buying a more fuel efficient car." "Why?" "It's my patriotic duty to reduce this country's dependency on foreign sources of oil." "Why?" "Because then the countries that hate us will have less money to fund terrorists." "Actually, developing countries would buy the oil you saved, thus adequately funding those same terrorists." "At least I wouldn't be funding them myself." "Oil is a fungible commodity. The capitalist system virtually guarantees that you'll end up buying the lowest cost oil from sources unknown to you." "Well, maybe, but I want my car to make a statement." "And the statement would be 'Hey, everyone, I don't understand what fungible means!'"

Wally Creates Virtually Reality Goggles

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Creates Virtually Reality Goggles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vr, #virtual reality, #deception, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Check out the new virtual reality googles. You wear them all day to upgrade the way you experience the world. Narrator: Later. Boss: It's good to see you working so hard, Wally.