Wants Award Comic Strips
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220 Results for Wants Award
View 1 - 10 results for wants award comic strips. Discover the best "Wants Award" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 12,
2003
Tags #director of profit making, #behind greatness, #acting like king, #wants award, #making spectavle
Transcript
The Boss: Later w'll be joined by the director of the only division thats making a profit. Behold my greatness! Bathe ye all in the pleasure of my general proximity!! I can only stay if you give me an award.
Tuesday September 21,
1999
Tags #air duct, #award for good work, #been summoned, #intern, #boss office
Transcript
ASok stands in Wally's cube. Asok says, "I have been summoned to the boss's office." Asok says, "He probably wants to give me some sort of award for my good work as an intern." Carol and The Boss look at the ceiling in his office. Asok can be seen through the window smiling. Carol says, "Why do you need to know where that air duct ends?" The Boss says, "It's been bugging me."
Tuesday October 23,
2018
Award For Cutting Costs
Tags #ceo, #award, #cutting, #costs, #department, #underfunded, #losers, #awards, #help
Transcript
CEO: I am proud to give you this award for cutting costs more than any other department. Dilbert: All of our projects failed because they are underfunded. CEO: How do you put up with these losers? The Boss: The awards help.
Monday February 20,
2012
Tags #charity, #bottle caps, #fund, #chemo, #pro children, #snopes.com, #internet hoax, #award mug
Transcript
CEO: Thanks to your leadership, we collected twenty thousand bottle caps to help fund chemo for poor children. And thanks to your... whatever... we checked snopes.com and learned that the bottle cap thing was an internet hoax. I only brought one teamwork award mug, so you'll have to take turns drinking from it.
Wednesday August 28,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #step, #outside, #smallish, #side, #kick, #fight, #butt, #wants, #piece, #accidentally, #soak
Transcript
Dilbert and some co-workers sit at a conference table. A tiny man says to Dilbert, "I disagree with everything you said. Who wants to step outside and fight about it?!!!" The little man says, "I may be on the smallish side but I can kick any butt in this room!!" The short man continues, "C'mon, who wants a piece of me??!" A woman next to Dilbert whispers, "It's my fault. I accidentally used him to soak up a coffee spill this morning."
Saturday October 22,
1994
Tags #computer, #academy award winner, #next years award, #best actor, #technology
Transcript
"To configure the software, enter the name of next year's academy award winner for best actor." "Please wait."
Monday December 19,
1994
Tags #quality award, #killed by sea turtle, #went snorkeling
Transcript
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company has decided to compete for the 'Millard Bullrush Quality Award.'" Wally asks, "Bullrush? Isn't he the politician who went snorkeling and got killed by a sea turtle?" The Boss replies, "They're faster than they look." Wally says to Dilbert, "I think we can win this."
Tuesday December 20,
1994
Tags #total quality method, #bullrush award, #honesty award
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "Describe how you used 'total quality' methods on your last project. We're applying for the Millard Bullrush Quality Award." Dilbert says, "You know I didn't use 'total quality.' I'd have to lie." The Boss responds, "Sadly, Millard passed away before he could invent the Millard Bullrush 'Honesty' Award."
Wednesday December 21,
1994
Tags #quality award, #dishonest parts, #project lost budget, #assume project failed
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert works on a laptop and says to Dogbert, "I have to submit my project for a 'quality' award. I'll need your help on the dishonest parts." Dilbert continues, "The real story is that the project lost its budget because its acronym was similar to a project that was canceled." Dogbert says, "Assume your project would have failed and claim the savings from avoiding it." Dilbert says, "You're spooky."
Tuesday February 28,
1995
Tags #singular achievement award, #we are teams, #check, #campiagn, #one thousand dollars
Transcript
The Boss hands a check to Ted while Wally, Dilbert and Alice watch. The Boss says, "And Ted gets this 'Singular Achievement' award for creating the 'We Are Teams' campaign." The Boss continues, "It's a check for a thousand dollars! Let's all give Ted a hand." Ted walks by holding the check and Wally, Alice and Dilbert look angry. As Wally, Alice and Dilbert hit and slap Ted the Boss thinks, "These things never work the way you want them to."