Wasted Step Comic Strips
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81 Results for Wasted Step
View 1 - 10 results for wasted step comic strips. Discover the best "Wasted Step" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 20,
1990
Wednesday August 28,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #step, #outside, #smallish, #side, #kick, #fight, #butt, #wants, #piece, #accidentally, #soak
Transcript
Dilbert and some co-workers sit at a conference table. A tiny man says to Dilbert, "I disagree with everything you said. Who wants to step outside and fight about it?!!!" The little man says, "I may be on the smallish side but I can kick any butt in this room!!" The short man continues, "C'mon, who wants a piece of me??!" A woman next to Dilbert whispers, "It's my fault. I accidentally used him to soak up a coffee spill this morning."
Wednesday May 26,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #daydreaming, #attractive, #wasted, #percent
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Ted, "I understand that you men are spending three quarters of your time daydreaming about attractive women." The Boss asks, "Do you realize how much time is being wasted here?" Dilbert asks, "Twenty-five percent?" Wally says, "It's a trick question." Ted thinks, "Irene."
Tuesday January 31,
1995
Tags #ignorance, #no limits, #idiotic, #opinions, #personal hygiene, #cyberspace, #flame boy, #step inside
Transcript
Dilbert types, "Your ignorance seems to have no limit. Your opinions are idiotic." Dilbert continues typing, "Your personal hygiene leaves much to be desired. Your family is ugly." He enters, "Send e-mail." Peering over the cubicle wall, Wally says to Dilbert, "You're mighty brave in cyberspace, Flame-boy." Dilbert replies, "Step inside."
Tuesday April 16,
1996
Tags #specially trained, #wasted resources, #project, #behind schedule, #manager, #done playing around
Transcript
The night shift manager brings a dog into Alice's cubicle and says to Alice, "This dog is specially trained to detect wasted resources." As the dog begins sniffing, the night manager continues, "He'll help me find out why your project is behind schedule even after adding me as manager." The dog holds an arrow with his tail and points it at the night manager. The manager says, "We'll begin as soon as he's done playing around."
Thursday July 30,
1998
Tags #useful skills, #raising issues, #salespeople, #new prodcut, #have a meeting, #oxygen being wasted
Transcript
Ted stands behind Dilbert. Dilbert sits at his computer. Ted says, "I have no useful skills or knowledge. I compensate by 'raising issues'." Ted announces, "Our salespeople haven't been trained for the new product!!" Ted says, "Someone should have a meeting about that." Dilbert says, "Wow, I can actually hear oxygen being wasted."
Sunday April 05,
1998
Tags #variance im depreciation, #four hour meeting, #stale dount, #nothing to report, #wasted donut, #threw donut, #meeting, #everyone alseep, #business
Transcript
A presenter says, ".. Now let's look at our year-to-date variance in depreciation." Alice notices a sleeping co-worker on one side and thinks, "Only five minutes left of our four hour meeting." There is another sleeping co-worker on her other side. Alice thinks, "Uf he keeps droning, there won't be any time for my presentation." Alice thinks, "I spent a whole week preparing my presentation." Alice realizes, "Everyone else is already asleep." Alice plans, "My only hope is to stun the presenter with a stale donut." Presenter points to a chart and says, "As you can see, there's nothing to report." A donut heads for the back of the presenter's head." Alice thinks, "I wasted a donut." Everyone around her is sleeping.
Monday April 24,
2000
Tags #project plan, #without input, #lied to me, #skipped that step, #already assigned blame, #for failure
Transcript
Dilbert and Alice are seated together at a table when the Boss walks up and hands Dilbert a piece of paper. He says to Dilbert, "I finished the project plan without your input." As Dilbert reads the paper, the Boss goes on to say, "You would have lied to me anyway, so I just skipped that step." The Boss sits at the table with Dilbert and Alice and says, "I've already assigned blame for failure, but don't worry, it's just preliminary."
Tuesday July 25,
2000
Tags #didn't ask, #erased hard drive, #mansplain, #reformatting hard drive, #step aside, #upgardes
Transcript
Ted says to Noriko, "Step aside. I'm from I.S." Noriko replies, "I didn't ask for any upgrades. " Ted answers, "That's what they all say until..." Noriko says to Ted in a horrified voice, "It's reformatting my hard drive!" Ted replies, "That's ten in a row. Maybe it's me."
Saturday October 06,
2001
Tags #six sigma consulatant, #identify probelms, #control fist, #give me a belt, #second step
Transcript
Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert says to the meeting, "The first step is to identify your problems." The Boss responds, "We don't have any problems. What's the second step?" Alice pins one hand down with the other and clenches her teeth. She thinks to herself, "Must..control...fist." The Boss says, "I hope someone gives me a belt."