Wear Huge Glasses Comic Strips
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392 Results for Wear Huge Glasses
View 1 - 10 results for wear huge glasses comic strips. Discover the best "Wear Huge Glasses" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 13,
2002
Tags #manager, #individual contributor, #job description, #wear huge glasses
Transcript
Dilbert is talking to a woman. She asks, "Are you a manager?" Dilbert responds, "No, I'm an individual contributor." The woman says, "So, basically, you have the same job description as an ant?" Dilbert responds, "I'd like to see an ant try to wear huge glasses like these!"
Thursday July 16,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #date, #millions, #stock, #wallet, #thick, #glasses, #late
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Gee, Mary, you weren't willing to date me BEFORE I made millions in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "I'm afraid you see me as just a big, talking wallet." Mary replies, "You're much more than that." Mary says, "For example, you also wear thick glasses." Dilbert says angrily, "Too little, too late."
Friday March 13,
1998
Tags #hideous treatment, #employees, #elbnina factory, #forced to wear clamps, #no union, #business
Transcript
Alice hold a folder and says, "Here's my report on the hideous treatment of employees in our Elbonian factory." The Boss sits at his desk. Alice holds her hands up to her head and says, "The employees are forced to wear huge clamps on their heads." The Boss looks at the report. At the lunch table in the employee cafeteria, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit with trays of food and large clamps on their heads. Alice says, "Then I said, 'The employees can't complain because they have no union." Wally says "Swift," and he and Dilbert frown.
Thursday February 09,
2012
Tags #benefits, #boss, #employee, #huge equity poistion, #questing, #start up, #wear whatever, #work at home
Transcript
Boss: We need to act more like a start-up. Dilbert: You mean I can wear whatever I want, work at home, and have a huge equity position in the company? Boss: Oh, I guess I didn't know what that meant.
Thursday July 29,
2010
Tags #public relations, #statue of liberty, #destroy, #new york harbor, #weapon demo, #remorse, #fake, #glasses, #fake tears, #water, #flood
Transcript
Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "The public won't forgive you until you fake some remorse." Dogbert says, "These glasses have a hose that leads to a pumping station and a huge reservoir of fake tears." CEO says, "If we have another press conference, we should crack open a window."
Sunday July 17,
2011
Tags #big business, #business ethics, #career path, #warn you, #maximum career potential, #less embarrassing car, #ne wocmpany, #ceo, #huge nbonus, #conversation
Transcript
Dilbert: I'd like to talk about my career path. Boss: Are you sure? Dilbert: Um... yes. I'm sure. Boss: Don't say I didn't warn you. You're within 20% of your maximum career potential. Your future will be just like the present, except you'll be older and you might own a less-embarrassing car. If you go to a new company, you'll like it at first. But in time you'll realize every place is the same. Dilbert: Gaaa!! Take back the truth!1 Lie to me! Boss: Maybe someday our CEO will make such a huge bonus that he'll want to share some of it with you. Dilbert: I hate! Boss: Hey, I'm the guy who tried to spare you from this conversation.
Monday August 15,
2011
Tags #conversation, #suspicion, #no clue, #software works, #wear noisier shoes, #talk behind back
Transcript
Dilbert: Wow, the guy who wrote this doesn't have a clue how software works. Man: When you talk about people behind their backs, it makes me wonder what you say about me. Alice: I think we just solved that mystery. Dilbert: You should wear noisier shoes.
Thursday April 19,
2012
Tags #conversation, #huge head, #parade float, #pasty skin, #communication, #over rated
Transcript
Tina: I just noticed you head is huge. Alice: I never noticed it before, but now all I see is a parade float made out of pasty skin. Dilbert: Communication is overrated. Dogbert: I'm feeling that right now.
Tuesday May 01,
2012
Tags #gadgets, #google glasses, #Environment, #reasons, #not be your freind, #sweep tweets, #unsettling
Transcript
Tina: Those must be the Google glasses that give you information about your environment. Dilbert: Yes, and I see seventeen reasons to not be your friend. I'll sweep your dumb tweets off to the side. Tina: This is unsettling.
Sunday May 06,
2012
Tags #booth, #brochure, #exhibitions, #exhibitor expenses, #expenses, #huge crowds, #last 11 years, #logo sign, #new customers, #popular booth, #spillover, #steal chair, #trade show, #video of incident, #youtube
Transcript
Boss: How did we do at the trade show? Dilbert: We had a huge crowd around our booth the entire time. But it was just the spillover from the popular booth next to us. The only person who asked for our brochure used it to kill a spider. Some guy tried to steal our extra chair and then Alice beat him senseless with our logo sign. A video of the incident is already on YouTube. It cost us $200,000 to be an exhibitor and we gained zero new customers. So it was just like the last eleven years. Boss: I feel good about next year!