Wearing Trash Cans Comic Strips
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351 Results for Wearing Trash Cans
View 1 - 10 results for wearing trash cans comic strips. Discover the best "Wearing Trash Cans" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 15,
2001
Tags #most valuable asset, #rampant ignorance, #really cost, #better jobs, #across the street, #don't know bugs, #wearing trash cans, #accidental exposure, #consultant, #business
Transcript
Dogbert is sitting at a conference table across from Dilbert and Alice and flanked by the boss and Wally. Dogbert says, "What is your most valuable asset?" Wally says, "Employees?" The boss stifles a laugh "Hee" Dogbert says, "Your most valuable asset is rampant ignorance." Dogbert continues, "For example, you would never start a project if you knw how much it would really cost." Turning to Wally, Dogbert says, "Employees stay here because they don't know there are better jobs across the street." Wally says, "What?" Turning to the boss, Dogbert says, "Customers buy your products because they don't know about all the bugs." The boss says, "Good point." Holding a trashcan, Dogbert says, "I recommend wearing trash cans on your heads to avoid any accidental exposure to knowledge." An employee, wearing a trashcan over his head, says, "Did he tell you he was a consultant?" Another trashcanned employee says, "He said he was selling trash cans."
Saturday August 16,
1997
Tags #recyclable, #trash container, #two containers
Transcript
Dilbert says to the janitor, "I notice you have only one trash container with you..." Dilbert holds up two trash cans. He says, "Whereas I have two containers - one for trash and one for recyclable materials." Dilbert says, "One theory is that you make two trips to each cubicle..." THe janitor says, "Could you turn around for a second?"
Friday December 14,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #transmitter, #television, #parts, #broadband, #multiplexer, #tuna, #cans, #space, #sock, #vaseline
Transcript
Dilbert and three men sit at a table eating lunch. A man says, "Yeah, I once built an FM transmitter from old television parts . . ." Another man says, "That's nothing . . . I built a broadband multiplexer from tuna cans and a lamp." Dilbert says, ". . . My first orbiting space station was made entirely from old socks and Vaseline." Dilbert thinks, "I hate going last."
Friday December 28,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #death, #partner, #automatic, #dentures, #willy, #wearing, #corn, #cob, #jacket, #unusual
Transcript
A police detective and an officer stand in Dilbert's doorway. The detective says, "We're investigating the death of you lab partner." Dilbert sits at a table with the men and explains, "It was the final test of the automatic dentures . . . Willy wasn't wearing his protective corn-on-the-cob jacket . . ." The detective asks, "Did you notice anything unusual?" Dilbert replies, "No, not really."
Thursday July 11,
1991
Tags #animal behavior, #giant, #moth, #fought, #modest, #bee, #jumpsuit, #wearing, #hypothetical, #situations
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Who would win if a giant moth fought a giant but modest bee in an all-wool jumpsuit?" Dilbert says, "Wait . . . Who's wearing the jumpsuit -- the giant moth or the giant bee?" Dogbert replies, "The bee." Dilbert asks, "Is this just hypothetical?"
Monday October 21,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #wearing, #undewear, #fired, #company, #layoff, #plan, #generous, #leave, #freedom, #local, #management, #dealing
Transcript
Dilbert says to Wally, "Uh . . . Wally, you're wearing only underwear at work." Wally says, "I'm trying to get fired." Wally explains as the Boss approaches, "The company layoff plan is very generous. I'll get a big pile of money if they ask me to leave." Wally puts his boxer shorts on the Boss's head and says, "This has given me a degree of freedom in dealing with local management."
Saturday February 20,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #notice, #wearing, #contacts, #emergency, #backup, #system
Transcript
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Do you notice anything different?" Dogbert replies, "No." Dilbert says, "I'm wearing contact lenses." Dogbert asks, "Then why are you still wearing glasses?" Dilbert replies, "They're my emergency backup system." Dogbert says, "Your pants are on backwards."
Friday March 05,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #linda, #constructive, #criticism, #dress, #pudgy, #Women, #wearing
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Gee, Linda, if you don't mind some constructive criticism, that dress makes you look pudgy." Linda screams, "Haaiii!!!" Dilbert arrives at home with his arm in a sling and his clothes tattered. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I still don't understand women, but I think when they yell 'haaiii' it means they like the dress they're wearing."
Saturday March 12,
1994
Tags #rate of inflation, #Promotion, #net worth, #shopping cart, #aluminum cans, #all good carts
Transcript
Dilbert: "At the current rate of inflation, with no raises or promotions..." "Our net worth at retirement will be...a shopping cart full of aluminum cans." "We'd better do something." Wally: "I'm going shopping before all the good carts are gone."
Saturday July 02,
1994
Tags #felt like kissing, #first date 85%, #kiss good night, #third date, #wearing sweat pants
Transcript
Dilbert: "This was our third date, Liz. Tradition demands that you kiss me or give me the 'let's be friends' talk." LIZ: "No, our first date only counted as 85 % because we were wearing our sweat pants." DILBERT: "I'm 15 % short?!!" LIZ: "It's too bad, because I really felt like kissing."