Weather Holds Comic Strips
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351 Results for Weather Holds
View 1 - 10 results for weather holds comic strips. Discover the best "Weather Holds" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday February 09,
2011
Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #text message, #auto correction feature, #weather holds, #rude fresco, #auto correction, #feature
Transcript
Wally says, "I got your text message and I burped the grope plow armistice as you requested." Dilbert says, "Maybe you should turn off the auto-correction feature on your phone." Wally says, "If the weather holds, I'll flail the rude fresco tomorrow."
Sunday June 30,
1996
Tags #d chop, #television, #feel safer, #screens, #violent shows, #news, #Sports, #dramas, #sexual innuendo, #comedy commercials, #weather reports, #tornado rips, #Entertainment
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert holds a device and says, "I call my invention the D-Chip Television Filter." Dogbert says, "I feel safer already." Dilbert explains, "It screens out any show with violence." Dogbert replies, "There goes the news, sports and dramas." Dilbert says, "It also gets rid of shows that feature dishonesty or sexual innuendos." Dogbert says, "Goodbye comedy and commercials." Dilbert says, "Let's hook it up." Dilbert sits on the couch holding the remote control and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert looks at the television and says, "All we're getting is weather reports." The newscaster says, "A huge tornado ripped through a . . ." There is a beep and then only static. Dilbert says, "It works! The evil can't get to us now, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Unhook that #!*% thing or I'll rip off your leg and beat you to death with it."
Friday November 03,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #terrarium, #failure, #weather, #patterns, #climatic, #experiment
Transcript
Dilbert leans over a table looking at a glass container. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My terrarium experiment is a failure." Dilbert continues, "By now it should have started its own self-contained weather patterns." Dilbert continues, "After all this waiting, it's just so . . . so . . ." Dogbert asks, "Anti-climatic?"
Monday May 07,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #outbox, #mail, #outgoing mail, #fish, #weather, #small talk, #errands
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of a desk. A voice from the out box says, "Hey! Big guy, how are ya?" An envelope peeks out of the box and says, "How's the family? You look great . . . Nice weather, huh?" Dilbert walks away thinking, "I hate outgoing mail." The envelope yells, "Do you fish?"
Saturday June 13,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #weather, #report, #cnn, #weatherman, #tummy, #jane, #ted, #messages
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. A weather reporter concludes, ". . . And that's the CNN weather report." Ted Turner appears wearing a tank top. He says, "Hey! Don't just sit there watching tv all day! Give me thirty tummy crunches!" Dogbert begins doing stomach crunches. Dogbert thinks, "It's been nothing but mixed messages since Ted married Jane."
Friday March 12,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #insult-o-gram, #ex-wife, #weather, #satellites, #photograph, #cloudy, #people, #recognize, #tipping, #situation
Transcript
A man answers his door and asks, "Yes?" Dogbert says, "I have a Dogbert Insult-O-Gram from your ex-wife . . ." Dogbert says, "You're so ugly, weather satellites won't photograph your town unless it's cloudy." Dogbert says, "The smarter people recognize this as a tipping situation."
Wednesday April 28,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #tragic, #story, #update, #reported, #killed, #weather, #Sports, #injury, #news, #drove, #pedestrian
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair watching television and Dogbert sits on the hassock. The newscaster says, "After that tragic story we have an even more tragic update on a previously reported tragedy, then . . ." The news reporter continues, "We'll tell you about people who got killed by the weather. And in sports we profile the injury of the week." The newscaster continues, "And in local news, not much was happening, so we drove the news van around until we hit a pedestrian."
Thursday May 20,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #handle, #kiss, #hand shake, #debbie, #filibuster, #movies, #economy
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the door with a two-headed woman. The woman says, "You're wondering how to handle the good night kiss . . ." Dilbert says, "Uh . . ." Donna says, "By a vote of two to zero we've decided not to kiss you. And Debbie has threatened a filibuster on the handshake issue." Dilbert holds his hand out and thinks, "It's a bluff." Debbie says, "Nice weather today. Have you seen any good movies? How about the economy, huh?"
Wednesday November 13,
1996
Tags #ask applicants sone questions, #see how think, #five gallon, #bucket, #holds water, #job interview
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table with a man. Dilbert says, "We like to ask our applicants some questions that will allow us to see how you think." Dilbert asks, "If you have a five-gallon bucket and a fifty-gallon bucket, how can you tell which one holds more water?" The man beats his head with his fists and says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Dilbert says, "When I said, 'See how you think,' what I meant was . . ."
Wednesday November 27,
1996
Tags #school for interpersonal skills, #Dogbert, #good relationships, #huge phony, #three fundamentals, #loud, #simple, #smiley, #low pressure system, #weather
Transcript
Dogbert stands at the front of a room and says, "The secret to good relationships is to be a huge phony." Dilbert and Wally sit in the class. Dogbert clicks a remote control and says, "Let's practice the three fundamentals." A slide projection lists, "Loud, Simple, Smiley." Wally shouts, "Hey, how about that low-pressure system, huh?!!" Dogbert stands on a stool and says, "Again, but this time say 'weather.'"