Well Dressed Engineer Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Well Dressed Engineer

View 1 - 10 results for well dressed engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Well Dressed Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slaes rep, #nice suit, #dilbert questioned, #well dressed engineer, #not redibilty, #reverse makeover, #consultant, #engineers are grungie, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: go with our sales rep and answer the customer's technical questions. whoa! you can't go looking like that. This is a nice suit, exactly, a well dressed engineer has no credicbility! I'll call my reverse make over consultant. Im bob the straight eye for the queer looking guy. Lets see...I'll give you my clothes ...add ear hair eye brow extensions, You seem highly credible and I don't know why. Genius.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scam, #death, #reincarnation, #con, #con artist, #ghost, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm starting a new business selling clothes to ghosts. My garments are made of the finest ectoplasm. Dilbert: Ghosts don't have money. Dogbert: They don't need money. I'm using a life insurance business model. If you pay me until you die, I will keep your ghost well-dressed for eternity. I also offer reincarnation services. Leave all of your stuff to me when you die and I'll give it back to you when I find the baby that got your soul. Dilbert: You'll be in trouble if your customers realize you're running a scam. Dogbert: If dead people start complaining, we've both got bigger problems than my scams.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #temporary credentials, #webservices, #ritual shaming, #engineer, #public shaming, #poison the well, #credibility, #healthy place, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can you show me how to set up temporary credentials for our web services? Alice: Only if you are prepared for your ritual shaming. Dilbert: Yes, always. Alice: Okay, here it goes. What kind of engineer doesn't know how to set up temporary credentials? Ha ha ha ha! I will tell this story for years! Hey, everyone! Guess what Dilbert doesn't know! That should be enough to poison your well of credibility. Dilbert: This isn't a healthy place. Alice: Then why do I feel so alive?

Master Engineer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Master Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #Promotion, #master, #senior, #engineer, #more, #pay, #platinum, #optimism

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm promoting you to the position of "master engineer." dilbert: i'm already senior engineer. boss: now you're a master engineer. with all the rights and responsibilities that come with it. dilbert: such as...? boss: well, for example, you can do more kinds of work. dilbert: for more pay? boss: no. no. no! you're thinking of "platinum level" engineers. you're not on of those. dilbert: that comes next?! boss: optimism is not an attractive quality.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stay engineer, #career in mangement, #engineer, #dark side, #found probelm, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on his couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert says, "I can't decide if I should stay with engineering or pursue a career in management." Dilbert continues, "In my heart I'm an engineer but I hear a voice calling me to the dark side." Dogbert looks behind the couch and sees a man dressed as a devil. Dogbert says, "I found your problem." The devil says, "Boy is my face red."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #casual friday, #tan pants, #business casual, #unattractive, #unorofessional, #fashion opinion, #engineer matters

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice walks past Wally's cubicle. Wally says, "Well, it wouldn't be Friday if I didn't see Alice wearing her one pair of tan pants." Wally continues, "I love the 'business casual' look for the way it combines unattractive with unprofessional while diminishing neither." Alice responds, "Do you think the fashion opinion of a male engineer matters to me??" Dilbert enters wearing the same print shirt and pants as Alice. Dilbert yells, "Twins!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #beta prodcut, #fix problems, #logically impossible, #schedule, #manager, #not engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss asks, "How long will it take to fix any problems we find in our beta product?" Dilbert answers, "It is logically impossible to schedule for the unknown." The Boss says, "Try to think as a manager, not as an engineer." Dilbert says, "In that case, we'll fix the problems before we find them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #resume, #looks good, #interested, #brilliant engineer, #pay cut, #savings account

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table with a woman. Dilbert says, "Your resume looks good, but we could only pay half of what you're making now. Are you interested?" The woman replies, "So . . . You're looking for a brilliant engineer who is actively seeking a pay cut?" Dilbert says, "Well, you have to consider the many intangibles." The woman asks, "Such as my savings account if I worked here?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #interview, #applicant, #engineer, #standard, #pens, #pencil, #perform, #natural, #fabrics, #carry, #wearing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to interview the job applicant who's coming in today." The Boss continues, "See if he's got what it takes to be an engineer." Dilbert holds out his hand and says to the candidate, "Hi, Karl. We'll start with the standard engineering test." Karl says, "Okey dokey." Dilbert says, "I have thiry-five pens and pencils here. How many are really needed to perform your job?" Karl answers, "All of them." Dilbert says, "Correct . . . Now, what is the proper way to carry them with you?" Karl puts all of the pens and pencils in his shirt pocket. Dilbert says, "Right again. Last question: what is the advantage of wearing natural fabrics?" Karl thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Panic situation." Sweat flies off his forehead and his hair sticks up. He says, "I . . . I don't know." Dilbert says, "That's okay. I was testing your hair. You're an engineer." Karl smiles.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #shut down factory, #ethical, #make film, #empowered, #more women in management, #down for day, #ego booster, #endangered bird, #parking lot, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

"From now on, any engineer can shut down our factory for any reason." "Later we'll film a commercial about how ethical and empowered you are." "Ha! Give me a raise, Tubby, or the factory's going down!" "You can't shut it down, I'm shutting it down until more women are in top management." "I'd like to shut it down for a day, just as an ego booster. Is Tuesday good?" "Didn't any of you hear that there's an endangered bird living in the parking lot??" "I think I parked on it this morning." "Can we get back to the point?"