Well Informed Comic Strips
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924 Results for Well Informed
View 1 - 10 results for well informed comic strips. Discover the best "Well Informed" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 28,
2013
Tags #managers & supervisors, #Opinion, #influence recommendation, #well informed, #easily informed, #charismatic ignorance, #business
Transcript
Boss: I won't give my opinion because I don't want to influence your recommendation. Dilbert: Good idea. My well-informed mind is so easily swayed by your charismatic ignorance. Boss: That's not what I'm saying. Dilbert: Then who did I hear?
Thursday February 17,
2005
Tags #last election, #incredibly close, #smart well inofrmed, #intelligence factor, #no right to complain
Transcript
The Boss: "The last election was incredibly close. That's why it's so important to vote." The Boss: "Smart, well-informed people were evenly divded. Therefore, logically, that proves that intelligence is not a factor, so voting is absurd." The Boss: "Then you have no right to complain about the result." Wally: "I'm pretty sure I do."
Tuesday January 06,
1998
Tags #performance review, #ding you, #keep informed, #peek at computer, #unread messages
Transcript
Performance review Alice is having a performance review. She says, "Alice, I had to ding you for not keeping me informed about your project." Alice says, "May I take a peek at your computer?" Alice says, "You have twelve thousand unread messages." The Boss says, "Well, it's a little late for that now."
Thursday February 06,
2020
Slide Deck Too Well Designed
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #tasks, #well-designed
Transcript
boss: your slide deck is too well-designed. it suggests you spend too much time on things that are not important. asok: you don't give me important tasks. boss: that's no excuse for good design.
Thursday November 10,
1994
Tags #business process, #well designed porcess, #compensate, #apathy
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "As your consultant, I'll tell you how to improve your business processes." Dogbert continues, "I'll show you how a well-designed process can compensate for your sloth, apathy and all-around incompetence." Dogbert continues, "But most important: let's have fun."
Saturday April 20,
1996
Tags #dances, #dancing dogs, #go wild, #healed, #healthy, #invoice, #poems, #primal screams, #tech me, #total well being
Transcript
Dogbert, who is wearing a wizard's hat, stands on the desk in Alice's cubicle. Dogbert asks, "Have my poems and dances healed your soul yet, Alice? The company cares about your total well being." Alice says, "Excuse me." Alice leans over the cubicle wall and shouts at the Boss, "We want more MONEY, not more dancing dogs!!! M-O-N-E-Y!! The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "So you're saying those primal screams are healthy? Can you teach me to do it?" Dogbert says, "Here's my invoice - go wild."
Friday October 04,
1996
Tags #iso 9000 certified, #product looks good, #internal porcess, #well documented, #documented porcess, #ace, #double price
Transcript
The Boss and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "Your product looks good, but you can't be our supplier unless your company is ISO 9000 certified." The Boss asks, "So . . . You don't care how bad our internal processes are, as long as they're well-documented and used consistently?" The man replies, "That's right." The Boss says, "Our documented process says I must now laugh in your face and double our price."
Tuesday December 09,
1997
Tags #coached well, #date, #date analyzer, #cubicle fibers, #office job
Transcript
Dilbert arrives for his date. A woman opens the door and Dilbert says, "Grunt, grunt. Absolutely right. Grunt, grunt, grunt." Dilbert says, "Grunt, grunt, grunt." She says, 'Someone coached you well for this date. You haven't said a thing I object to yet." Dilbert is strapped to a huge microscope labled, "Date-alyzer." He says, "Grunt." She stands at the control panel and says, "I see cubicle fibers... you have an office job."
Saturday May 15,
1999
Tags #completes portion, #project, #well engineered, #squadron, #idiots, #ruin, #marketing, #napping, #use ears, #coasters, #business
Transcript
Dilbert types at his computer and thinks, "This completes my portion of the project." Dilbert thinks, "This project is so well-engineered it would take a squadron of idiots to ruin it." Caption: "Meanwhile in Marketing" A stupid looking man dressed very sloppily says, "And when I'm napping, it is NOT okay to use my ears as coasters."
Friday June 04,
1999
Tags #dogbert consults, #teflon, #body, #shake well, #before using
Transcript
Caption "Dogbert Consults" Dogbert hands the boss a spray can. dogbert says, "Spray this Teflon on your body to better ignore the input of your subordinates." The boss sprays. The boss now has a pan for a head. Dogbert says, "Next time, shake well before useing." The boss says, "Who cares what you say?!"