Search Results for "wet caroets"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 1999's comic on:


Tags #carol got mba, #hard wirk, #rewarded, #pompous baboon, #sensitive way, #secretarial stigma, #wet caroets, #coffee, #fetch me one

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss and Carol are standing in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, while pointing to Carol: "Congratulations to my secretary Carol for getting her MBA" The boss says to Carol: "At this company we believe hard work should be rewarded." The boss says to Carol: "The next time you fetch my coffee, get some coffee for yourself too!" Carol says to the boss: "You should be promoting me, you pompous baboon!" The boss says to Carol: "How can I explain this in the most sensitive way?" The boss says: "The secretarial stigma will cover you like a mountain of wet carpets until the day you die." The boss says to Carol, who looks furious: "I'm glad we had this talk. I think it helped." Alice and Wally are walking behind the boss and Alice says:"The next time you ask for coffee. We'd like to watch."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 1998's comic on:


Tags #pompous airbag, #deflate, #arrogance, #tricvia, #intelligence, #elbonia, #wet laundry, #chewy casserole

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands outside of a cubicle with a memo in hand and asks, "Are you the pompous airbag of the office?" Man in the cubicle answers, "Indeed." Dogbert says to the man, "I've been asked to deflate you." Dogbert continues, "My sources tell me that you combine arrogance with trivia and try to pass it off as intelligence." The man exclaims, "That's because I'm surrounded by fools who don't even know the capital of Elbonia!" Dogbert displays the memo to the man and says, " I have a signed statement from your wife..." Dogbert continues, "...that you put wet laundry in the oven last night." The man looks into his computer screen while thinking to himself, "That explains the chewy casserole she served me this morning."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2010's comic on:


Tags #business case, #hold folder, #funding, #deny, #landfill wet hunting, #frustrating, #yell, #shake, #upset

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I finished the business case." Dilbert says, "You said you would try to get funding if the numbers look good." The Boss says, "I never said that." Dilbert says, "I clearly remember it. I can describe our conversation word for word." The Boss says, "I probably said something that sounded like 'I will get funding' and you heard it wrong." Dilbert says, "What exactly sounds like 'I will get funding'?" The Boss says, "Landfill wet hunting." Dilbert says, "That's not even a good try!!!" The Boss says, "Shake it off."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #time estimate, #propsal, #win bid, #wet sponge, #insulted me, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I adjusted your time estimate on the proposal from two years to one so we could win the bid. I plan to make up the time by squeezing you like a wet sponge that insulted me. Then the wet sponge insulted me.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #garbage, #cataloupe, #rinds, #newspaper, #sprinkled, #coffee, #grounds, #blue collar, #work, #romantic

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert asks the garbage man, "Mister Garbage Man, what is life?" The garbage man replies, "Well, Dogbert . . ." The garbage man continues, "Life is like old cantaloupe rinds wrapped in a faded newspaper and sprinkled with wet coffee grounds." Dogbert asks, "Life is garbage?" The garbage man replies, "Call me a romantic."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #received, #employee, #suggestion, #handle, #blanket, #imbeciles, #process

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "I just received your employee suggestion." The Boss continues, "We'll handle it the usual way -- by making you sit under a wet blanket surrounded by imbeciles." Dilbert sits in a chair with a blanket covering his head. Four stupid people stand around him. Dilbert thinks, "At least there's a process." A man asks, "Explain your suggestion again."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 1997's comic on:


Tags #boss, #umbrella, #doaked, #clothes microwave, #dry off, #tricked alice, #boss naked, #breakroom

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tells Dilbert and Wally, "I forgot my umbrella. I'm soaked." His clothes are dripping wet. Dilbert says, "Why don't you toss your clothes in the microwave and dry them off?" The Boss asks, "Would that work?" Dilbert and Wally are silent. The Boss stuffs his clothes in the microwave. Dilbert says, "Sixty minutes ought to do it." Wally covers his eyes because the Boss is naked. They shut the door on the Boss. Dilbert says, "We'll guard the door to the break room." As they walk away, Wally says, "You know, ever since the downsizing began, I've felt much less company loyalty." Dilbert says, "Me too." Alice asks, "Why are you two so happy?" Wally says, "There are free goodies in the break room."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2003's comic on:


Tags #obliterate connection, #my perfromance, #my rewards, #3d objects

View Transcript

Transcript

The merger will obliterate the connection between my performance and rewards. My arms hang like wet ropes. there is no reason to move again. Dilbert: From 9 - 930 I rotated 3 dimensional objects in my mind. My ears hang like wet ropes.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #business shake, #etiquette & ethics, #handshake, #macaroni and cheese, #moist and squishy

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Hi, I'm Allen, from Sales. Dilbert: Dilbert. Your handshake feels like a wet sock full of macaroni and cheese. It makes me wish we never met. Coworker: Please let go of my hand. Dilbert: It's moist and squishy.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2008's comic on:


Tags #company invested, #billion dollars, #made up numbers, #slide to oblivion, #made a difference, #victims

View Transcript

Transcript

"The company decided to invest a billion dollars based on your stupid made-up numbers." "You've crushed my dreams of a better tomorrow. Now my life is a cold, wet slide to oblivion." "I finally made a difference at work." "how many victims?"