Whack Comic Strips
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9 Results for Whack
View 1 - 9 results for whack comic strips. Discover the best "Whack" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 01,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #survive, #plane, #crash, #worcestershire sauce, #whack, #cannabal, #meat, #tenderizer, #wonder, #body
Transcript
Dilbert, Dogbert, a captain and several people stand on a snow-covered mountain. Off in the distance is a crashed airplane. A man in a pilot's uniform says, "I've survived several jet crashes this year, so listen to me." The man continues, "The best way to prevent frostbite is to rub Worcestershire sauce on your body and whack yourself repeatedly with a meat tenderizer." As people pour sauce on themselves Dilbert thinks, "I wonder why he had enough of these for everybody?"
Tuesday March 30,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #conquer, #earth, #bob, #powers, #hypnosis, #control, #television, #whack, #sensitive, #skin, #accountants, #calluses
Transcript
Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Bob, I need your help in my quest to conquer earth." Bob asks, "What do I do?" Dogbert replies, "I'll use my powers of hypnosis to control everybody who sees me on television. You must whack everybody else with your mighty tail." Bob strokes his tail and asks, "Did I ever mention that I have sensitive skin?" Dogbert replies, "Start with accountants. They're soft and you can build calluses."
Thursday March 14,
1996
Tags #director of marketing, #annoying, #illogical, #whack, #better owner, #salary to earnings
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally stand in front of Ratbert who is standing on a desk. Dilbert says, "Ratbert, we'd like you to be the Director of Marketing for the company we're starting." Ratbert says, "Okay! What do I do?" Dilbert responds, "Be as annoying and illogical as you can. We'll whack you in the head with balled-up socks to make you shut up." Ratbert lies on the table after being beaten with socks. Dilbert says, "It's definitely better to be an owner than an employee." Wally says, "Let's link his salary to earnings! Hee hee!"
Tuesday August 06,
2002
Tags #three hole punch, #waltzing in, #borrowing things, #whack list, #demanding, #in exchange for, #hole punch
Transcript
An employee asks Carol, "May I use your three-hole punch?" Carol waves her hand and exclaims, "Whoa Whoa Whoa!" Carol says, "You can't come waltzing into this department, using our stuff and leaving your holes." The employee says, "I'll clean up the holes." Carol hands him a piece of paper, "I want you to whack the people on this list."
Monday October 03,
1994
Tags #consulting comany, #executive compensation, #ninety percent, #overpaid, #repeat business
Transcript
Dogbert: the dogcart consulting company has reviewed the executive compensation plan as you requested. My conclusion is that you're already hideously overpaid, Im recommending ninety percent pay cuts and a whack in th head for each of you. I"ll bet you don't get much repeat business. Dogbert: Oh yeah, as if Id want to spend more time with you.
Sunday June 02,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #karate, #real, #life, #male, #daydream, #sequence, #tought, #nobody, #else
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit in the chair watching tv. On the television program, there is a whack and someone grunts. Dogbert says, "On television you can knock a person out with one karate chop." Dogbert continues, "Just think how useful that could be in real life." The caption says, "Male daydream sequence." Dilbert stands in a line thinking, "This movie line is too long." Dogbert karate chops the man in front of him. Dogbert knocks down the next man in line. The first person in line screams as Dogbert knocks him down. Dogbert stands at the ticket booth. He thinks, "I'm glad nobody else thought of that first."
Wednesday January 10,
1996
Tags #stake through heart, #demon mossed boss, #raisin sized heart, #blue betty pen
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally stand against the wall on either side of the door to Ted's office. Dilbert says, "Alice is ready to drive a stake through the heart of our demon-possessed boss." Wally and Dilbert hide in the hallway. From inside the office, they hear, "Whack, whack, whack!" Ted and Alice walk out the office door. Ted has many pens stuck in his chest. He says, "It's times like these when I'm glad my heart is the size of a raisin!" Alice says to Wally, "I need all of your pens, including 'Blue Betty.'" Wally's mouth hangs open in shock.
Sunday March 13,
1994
Tags #body language, #politely tell, #remove watch, #smash watch, #daily planner, #feel good, #act bored, #self heimlich manuever, #kerokian dodge, #instructions
Transcript
"Dogbert's Body Language Update" "Are you hampered by the limits of conventional body language?" "I can help." - How can you politely tell somebody he's babbling? "Babble, Babble." - Remove the offender's watch while he babbles.- "Babble." - Smash the watch with your daily planner. - "Babble." "Whack!" - This won't stop the babble, but it will feel real good for a minute.- "Babble." "Mmm." - Use this position to signal your surrender to the babble.- "Babble." -Next week - the self-Heimlich manuever and the Kervorkian dodge.- "Babble."