Dilbert stands in front of a room of people. He says, "Welcome to Dogbert's 'School of Hard Knocks.'" Dogbert says, "This is the school you've heard so much about." Dogbert continues, "Chances are, one of your parents is a graduate of this school." Dogbert continues, "At Dogbert's School of Hard Knocks, you will gain the wisdom that can only be obtained through suffering." Dogbert opens a box and continues, "Throughout the course, I'll be whacking you with various blunt objects." Dogbert continues, "It may be unpleasant at first, but you'll get used to it." Dogbert continues, "Eventually, your brain will rationalize the whole experience. You'll think I'm a dedicated teacher, and you'll actually believe you learned something." Dogbert shakes a stick and says, "Stick with the basics, I say."
Dogbert stands on the desk in front of the computer. Dogbert says, "We're being deluged by e-mail!" Dogbert says, "The male writers heavily favor whacking Ratbert with the magazine." Dilbert stands over Ratbert holding a rolled-up magazine. Dogbert continues, "And we have a number of helpful suggestions involving power tools." Dilbert replies, "Boys will be boys."