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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2003's comic on:

Tags #alternative universes, #Dilbert, #therapy session, #dense objects, #space time fold, #fabric, #whats happening?

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Dilbert: All week I felt like I was driving through alternative universes I was me, But Was different. Therapist: Have you been near any dense objects that would make the fabric of space-time fold onto itself? ONE WEEK AGO The Boss: will there be any unforeseen problems? Dilbert: whats happening to me?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2011's comic on:

Tags #competition (psychology), #ninja, #incapable

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Man: This can't be done. Dilbert: You aren't capable of doing it. Man: I'm not saying I'm incapable! I could do this in my sleep! Dilbert: Because it's easy. Man: What's happening here?! Dilbert: Ninja.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1994's comic on:

Tags #c computer lamguage, #black hole, #light can't escape, #field gravity, #ideas, #escape, #lack substance

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"No, 'C' is a computer language, not the grade for my project." "What's happening?" "He turned into a black hole, so dense that light cannot escape his field of gravity." "Ping" "Unfortunately, only his ideas can escape the gravity because they lack substance." "What if you program in 'B'?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2006's comic on:

Tags #cartonnist, #breaks third wall, #toto, #follow yellow sticky, #notes, #fantasy

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"Uh-oh. Why am I still here? What's happening to me?" "I violated the third wall and now I can't get out!" "Dogbert? Is that really you???" "No, I'm Toto. We must follow the yellow sticky-note road." Continued

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2013's comic on:

Tags #interviews, #mental health, #creative, #adhd, #dyslexia, #bipolar, #schizophrenia, #creativity, #normal is boring, #turning tables, #job interview

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Boss: I'm looking for an employee who is creative. Interviewee: That's me. I have ADHD and dylsexia. I'm also bipolar and schizophrenic. Dilbert: Checking the Internet... Well... that's surprising. Each of his conditions is highly correlated with creativity. Interviewee: Are you a normal? Boss: I... think so. Interviewee: Wow. I feel sorry for you. It must be hard going through life without any creativity. Boss: What's happening here? Dilbert: It might be some sort of creative thing.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2012's comic on:

Tags #coffee & tea, #late, #coffee safety, #whats real, #trip, #coffee in face

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Wally: Don't start. I'm late for the mandatory coffee safety training. I'd better run. Hunh! Boss: I can't tell what's real anymore.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 1995's comic on:

Tags #thought leaders, #whats worng, #no thoughts, #cloud, #no ideas, #blank head bos

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Dilbert, Wally, Alice, the Boss and another worker sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "From now on, the managers at my level will be called 'thought leaders.'" Dilbert and Wally stare at him in amazement. Dilbert asks Wally, "What's wrong with this picture?" The Boss's thoughts are shown to be empty.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 1996's comic on:

Tags #both dead, #doing nothing, #hundred years, #spread joy, #whats funny, #working hard, #ratbert, #Dilbert

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Ratbert walks across Dilbert's desk and says, "You know what's funny? I'll tell you." Ratbert continues, "You're working hard. I'm doing nothing. In a hundred years we'll both be dead." Dilbert says angrily, "You might not need to wait that long." Ratbert says as he walks away, "I think I'll spread some joy over this way."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 1999's comic on:

Tags #analysis disagrees, #intuition, #modems, #satan, #misundertsood, #whats his face

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Dilbert stand in the boss office. The boss says, "Your analysis disagrees with my intuition." Dilbert says, "Your intuition also told you the internet would be replaced with modems... whatever that means." The boss says, "I'm misunderstood, just like... um.. what's his face." Dilert says, "Satan?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2000's comic on:

Tags #worst date ever, #whats on ground, #bends over, #check out ass, #not so good

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Ming and Dilbert are walking together as Ming talks on her cell phone. "Yeah, I'm having the worst date ever. I'll check." Ming asks Dilbert, "What's that on the ground? It looks interesting?" Dilbert bends down tolook. Ming begins talking on her cell phone again. "Not so good."