Why Stay Comic Strips
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"I'd like a job where I can telecommute every day." "It should be high-paying yet have goals which can't be measured." "So, you'd stay home and we'd mail you checks?" "I was hoping for direct deposit."
Dilbert sits on his couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert says, "I can't decide if I should stay with engineering or pursue a career in management." Dilbert continues, "In my heart I'm an engineer but I hear a voice calling me to the dark side." Dogbert looks behind the couch and sees a man dressed as a devil. Dogbert says, "I found your problem." The devil says, "Boy is my face red."
Asok stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "They're transfering me to "Quality Assurance," Wally." As Asok gets dragged away by two people he says, "But I'll be back, no matter how long it takes, or how hard! Just stay alive!!" Wally types at his computer and thinks, "Wow. There must be a million sites about wiener dogs."
Dilbert says to Dogbert over a cup of coffee: "I know I could earn more money at another company. So why do I stay?" Dogbert says: "Maybe the coffee is good and you enjoy watching the antics of feeble, unaware loosers." Dilbert begins to say: "No, I don't think that's..." But Dogbert, finishing his cup of coffee, cuts him off with: "This coffee is good."
At home, Dilbert asks Ratbert: "Should I stay at my current job where the commute is easy?" He continues: "Or should I risk everything and join a fast paced start-up company?" Bob the Dinosaur appears and says: "I joined a fast-paced start-up company while you were yakking." Ratbert joins in with: "Mine went IPO."
Ted, who has the letter 'R' painted on his chest, says to Wally, "Today is my last day. I'm saying my farewells." Wally looks at Ted as Ted says, "We've never talked, but I was working my way down the row and here you are." Ted says, "So... Let's stay in touch." Wally says, "Don't be a stranger."
DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: A man on a cell phone says, "I need an estate plan for after I pass away." Dogbert, in his office and wearing a headset, says to the man, "Here's a plan: Stay dead. No one likes a zombie." The man on the cell phone asks, "What about gifts?" Dogbert's reply is, "Zombies make bad gifts."
Alice approaches Noriko who is sitting at her desk. Alice asks, "I'm dating an unattractive man. What should I do?" Noriko replies, "Every man is ugly until a woman fixes him up. Think of it as a project." Alice stands with a clipboard in hand as she lists her unattractive man's faults, who sits before her, obviously balding. She says, "Next, lose the combover, or at least stay out of the wind." The man asks, "How did you know about the combover?"
Dilbert is sitting on the couch at home. Dogbert says, "I've developed a new theory of intelligence that I call 'Drop-by-I.Q.'" Dogbert continues, "It's a measure of how long a drop-by visitor will stay in your cubicle when you're trying to work." The Boss is standing in Alice's cubicle. He says, ..."And that's why I'm afraid of bananas." Alice looks at her clock and thinks, "One hour and counting."
Alice says to the man in the apron, "Bobby, I'm looking for a stay-at-home husband to support my career." Bobby responds, "I'm sorry - I was thinking about chocloate, and I didn't hear a word you just said." Bobby walks away and says, "Br-r-r-r, I'm cold. Now I'm hot. Now I'm cold!" Alice thinks, "This will take some work."