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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2010's comic on:

Tags #meeting, #presentation, #fall asleep, #dream, #animal snout, #nose job, #reality, #tease, #mouth open, #scared, #wiggle fingers, #annoyed, #business

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Asok says, "I must have fallen asleep during your presentation. I dreamed I had an animal snout for a nose. It seemed so real." Dilbert says, "If you can't tell your dreams from your reality, maybe this is your dream and you really do have a snout." Dilbert says, "Does anything seem strange or out of place in this reality?" Wally says, "Can we please do some work?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2011's comic on:

Tags #frustration, #gadgets, #smartphone interface rage, #perfect storm, #bad interface design, #chubby fingers, #poor signal strenth, #smashing phone, #frustrated, #can't survive, #lesser of two eveils

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Dilbert: Whoa! Watch out. I've read about this. It's called smartphone interface rage. It's caused by the perfect storm of bad interface design, chubby fingers, and poor signal strength. He'll get so frustrated that he'll consider smashing his phone. Then he'll realize he can't survive without his phone and he'll be twice as frustrated. We have to do something. Wally: Run as fast as you can into the wall! It will take your mind off of your phone! Sometimes the best you can hope for is that the lesser of two evils is the funny one.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #laptop, #computers, #outdated, #fingernail, #models, #glue, #permanently, #fingers

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A clerk in a computer store says to Dilbert, "Laptop computers are outdated. You want our new fingernail models." The laptops on the shelf are on sale for 50 cents. The salesclerk explains, "You glue them permanently to each nail. They sense where each finger is at all times. You don't need a keyboard." The salesman continues, "Of course, some people prefer that their computer not know where their fingers are at all times." The computer says to the clerk, "Dave, about last night . . ."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1994's comic on:

Tags #existential problem, #dilbert reconciling work, #paid, #salary, #what do for money, #flick fingers, #get paid, #money

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Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "I just lost the subtle mental connection between my performance and my salary." Dilbert continues thinking, "I get paid the same no matter what I do. I can stand here and flick my fingers and still get paid." As he flicks his fingers, Dilbert says to Alice and Wally, "Do you realize what this means??!" Wally says, "Hey! You're getting paid for that!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 1994's comic on:

Tags #flicking fingers, #joyous celebration, #linked to pay, #success sounds like, #snappy sounds

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Dilbert, Alice and Wally stand in Ted's cubicle flicking their fingers. Dilbert says, "Look, Ted! We get paid the same as you but all we're doing is standing around and flicking our fingers." Dilbert continues, "Come join us and flick your fingers in joyous celebration that our performance is not linked to our pay." The Boss sits at his desk listening to the flicking and thinks, "I don't know what success sounds like, but I'll bet this isn't it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 1997's comic on:

Tags #alice, #boss, #give presentation, #technology, #trade show, #wiggle room, #for or against

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The Boss stands behind Alice in her cubicle. She sits at a PC. The Boss says, "I've been asked to give a presentation at the trade show." The Boss says, "I'd like you to put that together for me, Alice." Alice asks, "What's your topic?" The Boss replies, "Technology. They didn't say if I'm for it or against it." Alice says, "I'll leave some wiggle room."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 1998's comic on:

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #eyes, #computer, #sore, #typing with fingers, #restful on eyes, #use as bed, #alice, #technology

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Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert sitting on desk while Alice puts her hand on her head and says, "My eyes are sore from using the computer." Catbert says, "Try typing with your fingers, the way everyone else does." Catbert lays on top of his computer and thinks, "Personally, I find computers very restful on my eyes."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2002's comic on:

Tags #headphones in offcie, #humming, #wishing luck, #inconsiderate, #drumming fingers

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Wally has headphones in his hand. He says to Dilbert, "From now on, I plan to wear headphones in the office." Wally puts them over his ears and continues, "I'll be drumming my fingers and humming all day, I might even whistle." Dilbert says, "Inconsiderate #%*!$" Wally says, "I can't hear you, but I assume you're wishing me luck."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2002's comic on:

Tags #how to be annoying, #nasal sounds, #rainstorm, #sugar donught, #oil on fingers, #leaky coffee mug

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Headline: The Adventures of Paul Ooshen* (*Say it fast). Paul sits at his computer and looks down at his watch. Paul squirts a perfume bottle towards his face. He thinks, "Aaah... The scent of a hog farm in a rainstorm." Paul rubs in fingers in an oil puddle on his desk and thinks, "Oil for fingers." Paul holds up a sandwich and thinks, "Onion sandwich." Paul snorts his nose and thinks, "Annoying nasal sounds." Paul pours coffee into a mug and thinks, "Leaky coffee mug.. I'm ready for my meeting." Paul enters Alice's cubicle and scratches his nails down her computer screen. Alice screams, "Yes! Yes! I agree to everything! Please leave!" Paul walks away and thinks, "I didn't even need to lean over her keyboard with my sugar donut."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #numbers, #divisable, #instance, #boring, #sarcasm

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The caption says, "How to be a boring person." Dogbert faces the reader and says, "Our fist demonstration is called 'listing things because you can.'" Dilbert says, "I like the numbers that are divisable by two . . . For instance four . . . And ten . . . And sixteen and eight . . . And twelve . . . And, uh . . . Forty . . . And ten, or did I already say ten?" Dogbert says, "Now act confused and start over, using your fingers as if that helps." Dilbert says, "Okay, four . . . And ten . . ."