Winged Monkey Comic Strips
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Zenox: "I'm Zenox, the new manager of this coven... I mean department." "When I am displeased I make this face and growl like the undead." Grrow-eeeahh! "The new dress code is 'winged monkey.'" Dilbert: "If a man acted like you he'd be called tough."
Dilbert says, "We have a problem. Our CEO is grooming a winged monkey as his successor." Alice says, "When you say, 'grooming,' I hope you meant training." Monkey says, "I felt something move right here." CEO says, "Ho ho! Last one. I'm stuffed."
CEO MONKEY: The media is asking if you'll take the pledge to give your fortune to charity. CEO: That pledge is for billionaires! I only have $200 million to leave to my heir! On a semi-relayted notem find out who keep putting monkey DNA in my clones test tube.
Boss: I want your honest opinions on my plan. Don't hold back anything. Asok: Does he mean that? Wally: Why don't you find out? Asok: Yes, I have some feedback. Your plan reminds me of what happens when a monkey eats a fermented fruit. He's all - ooh - ooh - ooh and then he falls out of the tree. ... Is that how he looks when he hears honesty? Wally: Beats me. I've never tried it.
Dilbert: Hey, Alice, do you have... Dog: She can't hear you. She's walking and texting. That's it... Easy does it. I'll guide you around this obstacle. Dilbert: What did I just see? Wally: I'm saving up for a service monkey.
wally: Tell me why I should hire you as my service monkey, Carl. Carl: I worked as a starbucks barista for eight years and my head has been surgically flattened to stabilize your coffee cup. Dilbert: Impressive. Wally: This is nothing, You should see how well he interviews,
Carl: Im Wally's service monkey, I'll be fielding any questions directed at wally. The Boss: With all due respect, a business meeting is no place for a monkey. Carl: With all due respect, that was a stronger argument before I saw your powerpoint slides.
Dilbert: I would feel more motivated if I knew how my assignment fits into the big picture. Boss: You don't need to be motivated. A monkey could do your assignment while eating a banana. Like this. Ooh-ooh-ooh! Dilbert: I think we're moving in the wrong direction.
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Ask my secretary to schedule a meeting." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." Dilbert kneels in front of the secretary's desk and says, "Uh . . . Excuse me . . . Excuse me . . . Miss Cerberus, could a humble employee have the honor of your attention?" The secretary yells, "Are you prepared to take the challenge of death?!!" Dilbert asks, "Does this involve any winged monkeys?"
The Boss points to a monkey and says, "Dilbert, your new co-worker is Zimbu the Monkey." The Boss says, "Zimbu learned English from the zoo keepers in a special program." Dilbert says, "This monkey is an insult to the intelligence of the other workers and I!" Zimbu corrects Dilbert, "Other workers and 'me,' not 'I.'"