Winner Comic Strips
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View 1 - 10 results for winner comic strips. Discover the best "Winner" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dogbert sits at a table holding some playing cards. He thinks, "I can't remember the rules for solitaire." Dogbert thinks, "I'll just put the cards in random piles and then declare myself the winner." Dilbert sits back in the chair and looks at the piles. He thinks, "That was surprisingly satisfying."
The Boss points to Asok and says, "Asok is the winner of the $25 'Clean Desk Award.'" Asok responds, "Yesterday the facilities people took my desk because it appeared to be unused." Asok sits on the floor in his cubicle. He thinks, "I hope this doesn't bump me into a higher tax bracket."
Dilbert says to The Boss, "A customer keeps asking when we'll deliver the stuff they bought." The Boss asks, "When will we?" Dilbert responds, "Never, you lied to them to get their business." Dilbert continues, "You took their money and gave them nothing. Do you know what that makes you?" The Boss exclaims, "The winner!"
Wally says, "Some people see me as a loser who achieves nothing." Wally says, "In reality I am a winner who knows how to set realistic goals." Dilbert says, "So you're sort of a genius." Wally says, "And yet my only goal was to have a pulse."
How Engineers Duel Dilbert says, "Your data are weak." Engineer says, "Make your move!" Dilbert says, "I'm sending you a link!" Engineer says, "I'm sending you three links!" Dilbert says, "I don't have time for this." Engineer says, "Winner!"
"I need Tuesday off because my son is having his tonsils removed." "Since when do you know how to remove tonsils?" "Um...I won't be performing the surgery myself." "Do you have a rare blood type that you need to donate?" "No. Actually, I was planning on sitting in the waiting room to give him moral support." "So your kid is immoral and sick? He sounds like a real winner." "What I mean is that I plan to have a cold on Tuesday." "Well, I can see where your kid gets it from."
Dogbert sits at a table with Dilbert. Dogbert wears his crown and holds a scepter. Dilbert has a screw driver and is tinkering with a device. Dogbert says, "Since I'm the major breadwinner here, I decided to name the house "Dogbert Manor." And I've decided to name you Jennifer because I like the name. Dilbert examines the device. Dilbert says, "I don't know why I bought this. It's just a box full of electronics that you can look at." Dogbert says, "Shut up Jennifer."
Asok sits at his computer. Dilbert hands him a binder. Dilbert says, "Asok, you're the winner of the prestigious "Broken Binder Award"." Asok smiles. Dilbert says, "It's a once-in-a-lifetime award that is voted on by your peers." Wally and Dilbert stand in front of Asok's cubicle. Inside the cubicle Asok holds the binder and cheers. Wally says, "How long have you been dumping your trash here?" Dilbert says, "Since my can got full."