Wise King Salmon Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

62 Results for Wise King Salmon

View 1 - 10 results for wise king salmon comic strips. Discover the best "Wise King Salmon" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wise king salmon, #fish are stupid, #project, #right or wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

"We could do the project right for $100,000 or do it wrong for $25,000." "I believe that the wise King Salmon would say to split the difference and do it for $50,000." "Fish are stupid."

View more books now

Wise Person Said

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wise Person Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #wise, #person, #boil, #stick, #egg, #Advice, #proverb, #threat, #overrate

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: a wise person once said you can't boil an egg with a stick. wally: no, but i can threaten you with a stick unless you boil an egg for me. asok: why didn't the wise person think of that? wally: he sounds overrated

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #office equipment, #questioning, #wise garbageman, #powerpoint slides, #only delicious, #small does, #analogy, #works for flies

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Wise garbage man, tell me why Powerpoint slides are so boring. Garbageman: Powerpoint is a lot like garbage. It's only delicious in small doses. Too much can kill you. Dilbert: That analogy only works for flies. Garbageman: Oooh. Look who thinks she's better than flies.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #television, #supreme, #ruler, #earth, #idiots, #drive, #happiness, #expectations, #chips, #king

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a pillow watching tv. He thinks, "The more I watch television, the more I wonder why I'm not already supreme ruler of earth." Dogbert walks away thinking, "Those people are idiots. They should all drive over here and proclaim me their king." Dogbert returns to the pillow with a bag of potato chips and thinks, "The secret to happiness is high expectations and your own bag of chips."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #world, #news, #country, #doug, #tiny, #monarchy, #king, #descendant, #deity, #head, #doesn't

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair watching the television news. The newscaster says, "In world news, the tiny country of Elbonia has become a despotic monarchy." The news anchorman continues, "The new ruler is King Dogbert, who claims to be a descendant of the Elbonian Deity 'Doug.'" In Elbonia, Dogbert rides on the back of an Elbonian and hits him on the back of his head. Dogbert is wearing a miter and holding a scepter. Dogbert thinks, "I hope this doesn't go to my head."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #larry king, #live, #dog, #sexy, #beer, #commercial, #angry, #feminist, #encourage, #Women, #sex, #objects, #views, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Larry King sits at a table and says into the microphone, "Tonight on 'Larry King Live' we have a dog who makes sexy beer commercials, plus an angry feminist." The woman points to Dogbert and says, "His commercials encourage discrimination against women by portraying us all as sex objects." Dogbert asks the woman, "Are you saying men are so dumb, they get their views on life from beer commercials?" The woman crosses her arms and says, "I call them like I see them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #lenin, #twenty, #bucks, #king, #commies, #available, #stores, #dollars, #wall, #communism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks down the sidewalk and a man standing against a building whispers, "Pssst! Dog! Would you like to purchase Lenin's body?" The man continues, "Twenty bucks. He's in great shape . . . The king of commies . . . Not available in stores." Back at home, Dogbert pushes a man's body against the wall. Dilbert asks, ". . . And you talked him down to ten dollars?" Dogbert asks, "Do you like it better against this wall?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appearance, #refrigerator, #people, #Dogbert, #traveled, #miracle, #peanut butter, #saint ted, #jar, #elvis, #jello, #king

View Transcript

Transcript

A newsreporter stands on the lawn in front of Dilbert's house. She says, "People have traveled from all over to see the miracle of the peanut butter." Behind the reporter, people with outstretched arms walk toward the house. Dogbert stands on top of the refrigerator collecting money. Dogbert says, "Step right up . . . Just ten bucks to see the face of Saint Ted appearing in my jar of peanut butter." A man opens the fridge and says, "Ooh! And I see Elvis in the Jello!" Another man says, "Only the King moves like that!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #master, #earth, #message, #creature, #king, #retiring, #soft, #pillow

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair and says into a video camera, "This is Dogbert, Master of Earth, with a message to all creatures . . ." There is a satellite dish on the desk. A man and woman sit on their couch holding Dogbert signs and watching television. Dogbert says on tv, "I realized that you are all unworthy of having me as your king. I am retiring to go sit on a soft pillow." Dogbert lies on his pillow listening to the radio. Dogbert thinks, "No matter what I do, it always feels better when I stop doing it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #barbarian, #binder family, #loyal subjects, #mister computer, #spilled coffee, #stapler, #thwarted moat, #king of cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I am the king of my cubicle, the absolute ruler of this tiny realm." "And these are my loyal subjects: Mister Computer, Mister Stapler, and The Binder family." "Who spilled coffee?" "The barbarian is thwarted at the moat."