Wishful Thinking Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

422 Results for Wishful Thinking

View 1 - 10 results for wishful thinking comic strips. Discover the best "Wishful Thinking" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing plan, #comments, #obvious generalities, #wishful thinking, #business value, #glamour career

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee from marketing, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The woman says, "And that's the marketing plan. Any comments?" Dilbert says, "It appears to be a bunch of obvious generalities and wishful thinking with no apparent business value." The woman thinks, "Marketing didn't turn out to be the glamour career I expected." Wally shows his copy of the plan to Dilbert and says, "I circled all the words you won't find in any dictionary."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #language, #managers & supervisors, #key to leadership, #vague golas, #jargon, #wishful thinking, #dumping work, #whine about goals, #better system, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The key to leadership is setting vague goals that are a combination of jargon and wishful thinking. That way, I can keep dumping work on you without hearing you whine that it doesn't fit with your goals. You have to admit, my system is better than whatever you're doing over there. Dilbert: Yup.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #executives, #work ethic, #acting ceo, #murder employees, #start up, #unprofitable, #ridiculous jargon, #wishful thinking, #luck, #show off, #management fad

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I heard that while you were acting CEO you... murdered nine employees, bought an unprofitable start-up and embraced a new management fad that is nothing but ridiculous jargon and wishful thinking. No one likes a show-off. Boss: I swear it was just luck.

Charging Client For Thinking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Charging Client For Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #engineers, #time, #worth, #meetings, #billing, #money, #cost

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The client says you billed them for all the time you spent thinking about their project. Dilbert: I'm an engineer. Thinking is what I do. Should I think less? Boss: Maybe you could meet with someone while you think. Dilbert: How's that working right now?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #despair, #mind numbing tesk, #stop thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I can't wait to finish this mind-numbing task... so I can start another mind-numbing task. I really need to stop thinking.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #celebrations, #new year's day, #happy new year, #oxytocin drug dealer, #magical thinking, #space time continuum

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Happy New Year! Dilbert: Whoa! Settle down. I don't celebrate the magical thinking that says one random point in the space-time continuum is somehow special. Woman: It's just a hug. You'll enjoy it. Dilbert: You're like some sort of Oxytocin drug dealer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #thinking, #dustin hoffman, #dog, #mirror, #fur, #zipper, #rock

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits outdoors thinking, "Sometimes I feel like I'm just an actor on the cosmic stage of life." Dogbert thinks, "Maybe I'm Dustin Hoffman in a doggie costume." Dogbert thinks, "I better find a mirror and check my fur for a zipper."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #man, #rectangles, #heard, #boss, #geometry, #major, #good, #thinking, #geography, #rectangle, #states

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a conference table with several people. The man next to him whispers, "What's your presentation going to be about?" Dilbert replies in a whisper, "Rectangles. We heard the Boss was a geometry major." The man says, "Good thinking. But I heard he was a geography major, not geometry." Dilbert points to a rectangle projected onto the wall and says, "Wyoming: one of the many rectangular states."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #quitting, #contract emplyee, #Advice, #sleep in doorways, #hunk of coradboard, #co workers, #food stamps, #not edible

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at her desk with her back to Wally. Wally asks, "Alice, I'm thinking about quitting and becoming a contract employee. Do you have any advice?" Alice replies, "Sleep in doorways so it doesn't rain on you. The best shopping carts are at 'Lucky.' You can make an excellent sign with black marking pen and a hunk of cardboard." Wally walks away from Alice's cubicle and says, "I hate all of my co-workers." Alice says, "Despite the name, food stamps are NOT edible."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outside the box, #creative design, #push chair, #hallway, #view point, #stimulate, #fire hazard, #thinking, #inside box

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his cubicle thinking, "I need to think 'outside the box' to come up with a creative design . . ." Dilbert pushes his chair outside his cubicle and continues thinking, "I push my chair into the hallway to change my viewpoint and stimulate my creative juices." The Boss approaches and Dilbert thinks, "Suddenly my juice dries up." The Boss points at Dilbert and says, "You're a fire hazard. Do your thinking inside your box."