Without Rolling Eyes Comic Strips
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398 Results for Without Rolling Eyes
View 1 - 10 results for without rolling eyes comic strips. Discover the best "Without Rolling Eyes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday November 28,
1996
Tags #computer screen, #drivers side window, #interpersonal skills, #stupid person, #windshield gone, #without rolling eyes, #yugo
Transcript
Dogbert sits on a stool and Dilbert sits in a chair. Dogbert says, "This lesson in interpersonal skills involves listening to a stupid person without rolling your eyes." A man says, "My computer screen says, 'Press any key to continue.' Can I borrow your keys? Mine are locked in my Yugo." Dilbert covers his eyes and thinks, "Must focus . . . Must . . . Focus . . ." The man says, "I could break the driver's side window . . . But it's bad enough that the windshield is gone."
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Thursday March 22,
2012
Tags #internet & world wide web, #research, #believe internet, #roll eyes, #ignorance, #science
Transcript
Dilbert: According to my research on the internet, Plan B will work best. Boss: I'm rolling my eyes because you believe everything you read on the internet. Dilbert: I should take a picture in case someone ever asks me if ignorance has a tell.
Friday June 16,
1989
Tags #car, #dating, #eyes, #lucky, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Did you ever think how lucky people are that their eyes are located on their heads?" Dogbert continues, "Suppose your eyes were on your ankles; you wouldn't be able to drive a car." Dilbert leaves. Dogbert continues, "Without cars, dating would be impossible. No dating, then no marriage. Soon the species would be extinct."
Sunday July 16,
1995
Tags #cahnges, #corporate culture, #longer hours, #without pay, #management says same, #team, #vapid slogans, #notepads, #useless meetings, #culture change, #fad menu, #rule by fear, #business
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've decided to make some changes to our corporate culture." Wally says, "Let me guess what that means." Wally continues, "We'll work longer hours without extra pay . . ." Wally continues, "Your management style will remain exactly the same because Lord knows there's no need for YOU to change." Dilbert adds, "We'll start calling ourselves a 'team' so it doesn't seem like work!" Alice covers her eyes and says, "I predict there will be vapid slogans printed on notepads, and maybe some useless meetings." Dilbert says, "She's psychic!" Dilbert asks, "Is is just me or is the culture already changing?" Wally shouts, "I feel it! We're changing!" Wally looks at the agenda and asks, "What's next on the fad menu?" The Boss thinks, "I wonder if it's too late to rule by fear."
Thursday May 26,
2011
Tags #blaming, #quarreling, #work independantly, #close eyes, #fall back, #better than other people
Transcript
Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to work independently. In this exercise, I want you to put your arms at you side, close your eyes, and fall backward. Noise: Thud thud thud. Dogbert: And it's still better than working with other people.
Thursday December 15,
2011
Tags #industry & manufacturing, #manufacturing, #more green, #ac units, #elastic bands, #hats covered eyes, #don't shoot messenger, #elbonian, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: We told our Elbonian factory to be more green, so they turned off their AC units. The heat caused the elastic bands in their hats to stretch until their eyes were covered. And that's why we'll miss our ship date. CEO: They say you shouldn't shoot the messenger, but no one warns you how much you'll want to.
Wednesday May 30,
1990
Tags #note, #Dilbert, #potato, #glasses, #eyes, #contact, #lenses, #reference, #Dogbert, #lady di, #witch, #witch's curse
Transcript
The panel says, "Note: Some new readers of this strip may be confused by the presence of a character who looks very much like a potato. The following comparison should clear things up:" A caption pointing to a drawing of Dilbert the Frog says, "Dilbert (turned into a frog and disguised as Prince Charles)." A caption points to a potato. The panel says, "A handy rule for telling which one is a potato is to look for the presence of glasses. Although potatoes do have eyes, they are know to be vain and generally prefer contact lenses. Keep this reference guide with you."
Saturday June 23,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #dreamed, #died, #light, #god, #ark, #comment, #incident, #armchair
Transcript
Dogbert covers his eyes with his paws and says, "I'm so embarrassed . . . I dreamed I died and saw the light of God . . ." Dogbert says to Dilbert who is wearing a bathrobe and holding a flashlight, "I trust you will just let this incident pass without comment." Dilbert says, "I command you to build an ark . . ." Dogbert growls.
Saturday September 22,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #moose, #programmer's, #daze, #opposable thumbs, #arrow
Transcript
Dilbert's head is mounted on a plaque hanging on a tree. A deer tells another deer, ". . . When he saw my headlights, he froze and his eyes got big like this." The deer continues, "I tracked him back to his computer and waited until he slipped into a programmer's daze . . ." The deer concludes, "Then I plugged him with an arrow." The other deer says, "Wow! You did that without opposable thumbs?!!"
Saturday December 07,
1991
Tags #autumn, #Dogbert, #night, #Dilbert, #eyes, #moon, #mystery, #magic, #lips, #earthworms, #hideous, #red, #sidewalk, #rain, #storm, #home, #kiss, #worms
Transcript
Dilbert sits on a couch holding hands with a woman. Dilbert says, "Your eyes are like the moon on an autumn night, full of mystery and magic." Dilbert continues, "Your lips are like earthworms, painted a hideous red and caught on the sidewalk during a rainstorm." Dilbert arrives at home with bruises on his face and broken glasses. Dogbert asks, "Home early?" Dilbert replies, "At least I didn't have to kiss the worms."