Wits Comic Strips
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3 Results for Wits
View 1 - 3 results for wits comic strips. Discover the best "Wits" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 09,
2005
Tags #no budget, #no staff, #wits and computer, #wits, #pencil
Transcript
Dilbert: "I might have no budget and no staff to help me on my project, but that doesn't matter." "Because all I need are my wits and my computer." The Boss: "My computer is too slow. I'm taking yours." Dilbert: "My wits and... this pencil." The boss: "Hey, isn't that my pencil?"
Saturday November 23,
2013
Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #great leader, #hires good people, #no budget, #micromanaging, #half wits, #afford, #business
Transcript
Boss: A great leader hires good people and gives them the freedom to do their jobs. But I don't have the budget to hire good people, so I settle for micromanaging the half-wits I can afford. Catbert: Your boss was just in here saying the same thing.
Sunday March 22,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #industrial, #spy, #rumor, #xypon, #newspaper, #secret, #agent, #the boss
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from the Boss and says, "My code name is Dogbert. I'm an industrial spy." The Boss asks, "What makes you think my company needs your services?" Dogbert replies, "It's pretty obvious that you won't survive on your wits alone." Dogbert continues, "There's a rumor that Xypon Inc. is developing a tactical nuclear weapon to use against you." The Boss asks, "What exactly will you do for us?" Dogbert answers, "You give me fifty thousand dollars, then I disappear for a month and do secret spy things." Dogbert continues, "I'll return with information that only a spy or a regular newspaper reader could know." A man at Xypon Inc. asks, "How good are they, Dogbert?" Dogbert pulls a wagon full of money bags. He answers, "They're a bit gullible."