Witty Comment Comic Strips

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39 Results for Witty Comment

View 1 - 10 results for witty comment comic strips. Discover the best "Witty Comment" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #book publishing, #reject people, #dismiss lifes work, #gesture, #witty comment, #not a people person, #dog, #animals

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"I'm going to start my own book publishing company so I can reject people all day long." "I'll dismiss their life's work with a gesture and a witty comment." "Bottom line, I'm just not a people person." "I've noticed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #introductions, #manager instinct, #disengaged, #mirror mannerisms, #witty side comment, #pledge loyalty, #dead guy, #business

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I missed the introductions. "I'll use my manager instinct to figure out who's important." "Only a senior executive could get away without looking so disengaged." "I'll mirro his mannerisms so he'll like me." "Now for a witty side comment." "Ha ha! That will happend when monkeys fly our of my nose." "No reaction! He must be so important that he has no sense of humor!" "I pledge my loyalty to you and only you!!!" "I heard that you pledged your loyalty to a daed guy." "At least he won't ask for much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2011's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #discussion, #internet & world wide web, #humor consultant, #have more fun, #internet access to entertainment, #funny comment

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Boss: I hired a humor consultant to teach us how to have more fun at work. Dilbert: Does he cancel out the consultant you hired to filter our Internet access to entertainment? Wally: That was a funny comment. How'd you do that without a consultant?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #dreamed, #died, #light, #god, #ark, #comment, #incident, #armchair

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Dogbert covers his eyes with his paws and says, "I'm so embarrassed . . . I dreamed I died and saw the light of God . . ." Dogbert says to Dilbert who is wearing a bathrobe and holding a flashlight, "I trust you will just let this incident pass without comment." Dilbert says, "I command you to build an ark . . ." Dogbert growls.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #testing, #growth, #formula, #lab, #giant, #miffed, #sarcasm, #witty, #rat

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Ratbert sits on the hassock. Ratbert says, "I'm testing a growth formula at the lab." Dilbert replies, "I'm so happy. I've often thought that the only thing better than a rat in the house is a GIANT rat in the house." Ratbert says, "Yesterday I would have been miffed at your sarcasm. But that wouldn't be 'big' of me." Dilbert says, "Better yet, a giant, WITTY rat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 1996's comic on:


Tags #blood suckers, #coworkers, #famous novelist, #lowly tech writer, #scathing email messages, #write a book, #write witty, #dogcart career counselor

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Tina the Tech Writer sits at a table with Dogbert. Tina says, "I'm a lowly technical writer now, but my goal is to become a famous novelist." Tina continues, "My plan is to write witty and scathing e-mail messages about co-workers until a publisher gives me an advance." Dogbert says, "They might expect you to write a book at some point." Tina yells, "Blood suckers!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1997's comic on:


Tags #manger training, #comment, #contain nonsense, #implementation

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The instructor says, "You will often be asked to comment on things you don't understand." The instructor draws a large question mark on a tablet with a marker. The instructor says, "These handouts contain nonsense phrases that can be used in any situation. The Boss and the other pointy-haired managers take the papers. In a meeting with Wally and Dilbert, the Boss says, "...So, let's dominate our industry... with quality implementation of methodologies." Wally says, "I'll get right on it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #estate planning, #probate costs, #create living trust, #lawyers, #witty observation

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Headline: Estate Planning. The lawyer says to Dilbert, "You can avoid probate costs by creating a living trust." Dilbert replies, "So.. I can use an inconvenient system created by lawyers to avoid a worse system created by lawyers?" The lawyer points to his watch and says, "According to my watch, that witty observation cost you four dollars."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #thinking, #twitter, #witty tweets, #power to destroy career, #abusing employees, #personal gain, #business

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Boss: Carol, create a Twitter account under my name and send out witty tweets every day. Carol: Buwhahahaha! I hold in my hands the power to destroy your career and your reputation! Boss: Every now and then I question my strategy of abusing my employees for personal gain.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2003's comic on:


Tags #budget for research and development, #confidential, #witty, #appreciation, #laugh, #teeth fall out

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Alice: "Ted, what's the budget for Research and Development?" Ted: "It's confidential. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. Hee hee!" Alice: "I've never heard that one. It's very witty." Alice: "Allow me to show my appreciation with the following fake laugh." "HA HA HA HA HA HA!!" "HA HA HA HA HA!!!" Alice: "Those are my real teeth. I need them back."