Won't Answer Comic Strips
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Wally says, "I couldn't do any work this week because my project doesn't have a charge code." Wally says, "The chargeback group won't answer my e-mails, and our ethics rules forbid me from using a false code." Wally says, "It's another failure of management, but I know you can do better next week."
Dilbert: "What would your system cost?" Vendor: "We can deliver in two weeks." Dilbert: "But what would it cost?" Vendor: "A lot of vendors deliver in four weeks, but we can do it in two." Dilbert: "I'm asking about price, not delivery schedules." Vendor: "Do you want it shipped by ground or air? Air is even faster." Dilbert: "What does it cost?" Vendor: "Ground costs less than air." Dilbert: "GAAA!!! What does the SYSTEM cost?!!" Vendor: "For ground?"
Dilbert and Dogbert walk in the park. Dilbert asks, "Have you noticed that people rarely answer questions in conversation?" Dogbert says, "That reminds me of a story. One day I . . ." Dilbert says, "See? There! You didn't answer my question!" Dilbert asks angrily, "Do you think my questions are meant to be merely rhetorical?" Dogbert says, "You sure get worked up over the strangest things." Dilbert asks, "Are you doing this intentionally?!! Why won't you answer my questions??!!" Dogbert points at the sky and says, "Hey! There's a cloud that looks like a bunny!" Dilbert falls over and twitches as he says, "Why? Why? Why?" Dogbert thinks, "It doesn't get any better than this."
Man: What do you think of my idea? " Dilbert: It won't work. MAN: Why not?" Dilbert; Do you want the long answer that you won't understand because you possess neither the experience nor the education needed? Or the dismissive and insulting answer that has the advantage of being quick? Dilbert: Another advantage of the insulting answer is that you can tell people I rejected your idea because I didn't think of it myself. Man: I guess I'll take the insulting answer. Dilbert: Fine. Your idea is dumber than snake mittens. What do you have against snake mittens?"
Dilbert: As you can see from my financial projections, doing a major upgrade now would be unwise. Boss: I need to spend my entire budget this year so they won't give me a smaller budget next year. Dilbert: It seems you have wasted my time. Boss: It's not my fault you got the wrong answer.
boss: dilbert can answer any of your questions, but i have another meeting. dilbert: not really. i have no involvement in the project. he just told me to follow him to this room. co-worker: well, this is awkward. dilbert: how about i go to the restroom and never come back?
Asok says, "To answer your question faster, I'll need to use the two halves of my brain like dual core processors." Asok says, "I'm only warning you because it might be disconcerting to watch." Woman says, "How bad could it be?" Asok says, "Wah-ah-geeee!" Woman says, "Maybe you can e-mail me your answer."
Alice says, "Now you've done it. He has brain overload from your unnecessarily detailed answer." Alice says, "Great. He's totally broken and we need a decision today." Dilbert says, "Is he nodding yes?" Alice says, "I'm sensing an opportunity here."
Dilbert: I hope I'm not calling too late. What time is it in Elbonia? Elbonian: We're seventy years in your future. I'm the great grandson of the guy you are trying to reach. By the way, that SETI thing won't work out the way you're hoping.