Won't Ask Questions Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

906 Results for Won't Ask Questions

View 1 - 10 results for won't ask questions comic strips. Discover the best "Won't Ask Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2000's comic on:

Tags #incomprehensible accent, #won't ask questions, #coffee pot

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, pouring a cup of coffee, says to Dilbert, "I'm thinking of adopting an incomprehensible accent so people won't ask me questions." Dilbert asks Wally as he returns the empty coffee pot to the warmer, "Um... Are you leaving that coffee pot empty right in front of me?" Wally says to Dilbert, "Meeyerna derna furna algonkin buhjoorna."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1997's comic on:

Tags #accident, #ask questions, #bury survivors, #dont embarrass boss, #highly visible, #meetings, #put them in trunk, #promoted

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dogbert says, "If you want to be promoted, you have to be highly visible." Dogbert says, "Ask questions at meetings. But make them easy so you don't embarrass your boss." Dilbert is in a meeting with Wally and the Boss. Dilbert says, "...So if there's an accident in a company car, where should we bury the survivors?" The Boss says, "I usually put them in the trunk."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2014's comic on:

Tags #work load, #complaints, #inexperinced, #exact opposite, #doesn't know much, #hired useless man, #bad attendence, #not perfect, #ask questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You complained about your work load, SO I hired an inexperienced guy to help. Dilbert: This is exactly the opposite of what I wanted. Boss: He doesn't know much, But he makes up for it by asking lots of questions. Dilbert: So He'll be bugging me every minute? Boss: Not every minute. He takes a lot of sick days. Dilbert: So....you hired a guy who is useless, But its okay because he also has bad attendance? Boss: Its not a perfect world. Is this a good time to ask some questions?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2015's comic on:

Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #question, #questions, #stupid, #idiot, #idiots, #criticism, #critic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to critique my presentation for the board. And don't hold back to spare my feelings. Dilbert: That probably won't be an issue. Alice: We got this. Boss: My product idea has three components. Alice: How do you know another company isn't secretly preparing to launch the same product? Boss: What kind of stupid question is that? Alice: It's the same question you asked me yesterday about my product idea. Boss: The board won't ask that. Alice: Don't be so sure. I hear they're idiots.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2011's comic on:

Tags #quarreling, #suspicion, #work ethic, #work independantly, #boss, #preemptive strike, #project update

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I can't work for a boss who doesn't trust me to work independently! Boss: Is this a preemptive strike so I won't ask why you didn't turn in a project update? Wally: And more distrust. How do you live with yourself?

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 1989's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #question, #asking, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dogbert says, "I have a stupid question . . ." Dilbert says, "There are no stupid questions." Dogbert says, "That's ridiculous . . . If there are no stupid questions then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" Dilbert asks, "Were you going to ask me something?" Dogbert replies, "See . . . Now there's a stupid question."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 1997's comic on:

Tags #blowing off idiots, #information, #web page, #misunderstood

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his computer. Dogbert walks up and says, "I have a new method for blowing off the idiots who ask questions." Dogbert waves his tiny armsi in the air and says, "I say, 'That information ison my web page. Shoo, shoo." Dilbert asks, "What happens when they find out it isn't?" Dogbert replies, "I'll say, 'You must have misunderstood your question.'"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1997's comic on:

Tags #first salesperson, #noah, #sell ark, #animals, #yacht, #sales babble, #disguise motives, #pioneered lame joke, #weather, #reach quota, #blaming engineering, #greatest innovation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the couch. Ratbert asks, "Who was the world's first salesperson, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Some people say it was a guy named Noah." The caption says, "Noah's last name was content." Noah says, "I have a big, curly stick and I don't even know why." The caption says, "His job was to sell an ark cruise to animals." Noah asks an opossum hanging in a tree, "Did I say ark? I meant yacht." The caption says, "He invented soemthing called sales-babble to disquise his motives." Noah says, "We'll partner to leverage our value-adds in a win-win proposition." A beaver looks confused. The caption says, "He pioneered the lame joke." Noah asks a giraffe, "How's the weather up there? Hee hee!" The caption says, "When he couldn't reach quota, he got creative." Noah hands a unicorn horn to a cat and says, "Strap this to your head and don't ask questions." The caption says, "But his greatest innovation he called 'blaming engineering.'" An angry bear tells Noah, "I can't find the honey spa." Noah thinks, "Think fast."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2006's comic on:

View Transcript

Transcript

"Women know all about diets. Which one should I use?" "Should I go with the one that makes me miserable and doesn't work, or the one that might kill me?" "If you do both, I won't ask for anything on National Secretary's Day."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2005's comic on:

Tags #meeting, #introductions, #manager instinct, #disengaged, #mirror mannerisms, #witty side comment, #pledge loyalty, #dead guy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

I missed the introductions. "I'll use my manager instinct to figure out who's important." "Only a senior executive could get away without looking so disengaged." "I'll mirro his mannerisms so he'll like me." "Now for a witty side comment." "Ha ha! That will happend when monkeys fly our of my nose." "No reaction! He must be so important that he has no sense of humor!" "I pledge my loyalty to you and only you!!!" "I heard that you pledged your loyalty to a daed guy." "At least he won't ask for much."