Won't Work Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Won't Work
View 1 - 10 results for won't work comic strips. Discover the best "Won't Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 20,
2011
Tags #time travel, #elbonia, #time, #70 years future, #great grandson, #set thing, #won't work out, #cave, #pool, #monster, #gun
Transcript
Dilbert: I hope I'm not calling too late. What time is it in Elbonia? Elbonian: We're seventy years in your future. I'm the great grandson of the guy you are trying to reach. By the way, that SETI thing won't work out the way you're hoping.
Tuesday December 23,
1997
Tags #illogical scientist, #idea won't work, #religious nuts
Transcript
Alice is sitting at a table with her lap top computer and is writing something. Dan pulls up a chair and says, "Hi. I'm Dan, the Illogical Scientist." Alice covers what she is writing. Dan says, "That idea won't work. I know because I've read many reports about ideas that didn't work." Alice says, "You haven't even looked at my idea." Dan says, "Oh, I get it; you're one of those religious nuts."
Friday January 19,
2001
Tags #exactly man, #sell ten million, #idea won't work, #idea makes better
Transcript
THE "EXACTLY" MAN: Randy, looking at a piece of paper, says to Dilbert, "Your idea won't work. No one would buy this kind of product." Dilbert says, "We already sell ten million of these per year. My idea just makes them better." Randy exclaims, "Exactly!!" and Dilbert thinks, "?"
Wednesday April 19,
2006
Tags #project plan, #stupidity, #leaping off page, #simple, #won't work
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally refuse to support my project plan. Will you take a look at it? "GAAA!!! The stupidity is leaping off the page and burrowing into my brain!!!" "Does anyone around here known how to say a simple 'This won't work'?" gurgle
Thursday April 20,
2006
Tags #engineers, #project plan, #won't work, #problem solver
Transcript
Your engineers think my project plan won't work. "I'll assign Wally to your project. He's a perfect fit." "Because he's a problem solver?" "Because he won't work either."
Saturday September 15,
2007
Tags #vp of marketing, #spray paint the oadkill, #dishonesty, #isn't mortal, #won't work
Transcript
Dogbert, the VP of marketing Dogbert: "It's my job to spraypaint the roadkill." "I'll use a process the experts call 'dishonesty'." "My motto is 'if it isn't immoral, it probably won't work'."
Saturday November 03,
2007
Tags #problems, #solutions, #won't work, #moron
Transcript
The Boss: "Don't bring me problems, bring me solutions." Dilbert: "When I bring you solutions, you tell me they won't work and treat me like a moron." The boss: "What's the problem with that?"
Sunday June 10,
2001
Tags #defective co workers, #hall of fame, #won't work, #components, #too close, #overheat, #explain back, #moron, #sunflower seed, #mimics, #bird mimics
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from Parrot Man and says, "Your idea won't work. The components are too close. They will overheat." Parrot Man leans back and says, "Let me explain something to you, Dilbert." Parrot Man points to a piece of paper and continues, "These components will overheat. They are much too close." Dilbert is angry as Parrot Man goes on, explaining, "The reasons involve heat and something I call 'proximity'" Dilbert puts his hands to his head and screams, "GAAA!!!" Parrot Man says, "I don't have time to explain all the details." Dilbert throws his hands up and yells, "You take everything I say and repeat it back to me like I'm a moron!!" Parrot Man suddenly stands up with his arms outstretched in a trance-like state and says, "Excuse me, but I hear a clicking sound and feel compelled to eat a sunflower seed."
Tuesday February 14,
2017
Looks Good But Won't Work
Tags #ideas, #impracticality, #managers, #leadership, #threat
Transcript
Boss: The one they call Dilbert suggested we do something that looks good but won't work. CEO: Is this the first trace of management potential you've seen from him? Boss: You think it's a fluke? CEO: Let's keep an eye on it.
Friday April 24,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #choke, #death, #end, #date, #early, #work, #trick, #jillion, #times
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman grabs her throat and says, "Mphf! Aack! Cough! Hmp! Gurgle!" As the woman slumps onto the table, Dilbert says, "If you're pretending to choke to death to end our date early, it won't work." The woman sits up and crosses her arms. Dilbert says, "Like I haven't seen that trick a jillion times."