Work And Drink Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Work And Drink
View 1 - 10 results for work and drink comic strips. Discover the best "Work And Drink" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 21,
2003
Tags #hostile work environment, #continuous pressure, #work, #work and drink, #forty cups, #cutting back
Transcript
Wally enters The Boss' office and says, "You're creating a hostile work environment." Wally continues, "It's like there's continuous pressure to work." Wally shakes and exclaims, "But I'm only one person; I can't work and drink coffee!" The Boss replies, "I'm cutting you back to forty cups a day."
Sunday August 01,
1999
Tags #bans cofee, #cubicles, #distarction, #mess up desks, #alice, #too tsupid, #drink coffee and work, #same time, #ceo, #expenses
Transcript
The boss reads from a piece of paper in a meeting. The boss says, "The new policy from our CEO bans coffee from cubicles." The boss says, "Because he says, "It causes a distraction" and can "mess up desks." Dilbert says, "How did..." Alice says, "Hold it Dilbert." Wally says, "It's Alice's turn." Alice says, "You get the next easy one." Wally says, "Make us proud." Alice says, "Ahem, ahem" Alice says, "How did he become ceo..." Alice stands and says, "...if he's too stupid to drink coffee and work at the same time?" The boss says, "Our CEO also discussed unnecessary expenses." Wally says, to Dilbert, "Lucky!" Dilbert says, "Ahem."
Sunday July 06,
2008
Tags #after work, #bar, #date, #drink, #false sense, #group activity, #other people, #safety, #scam, #show up, #suspicious, #trick, #trust
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Some of us are going for a drink after work. Would you like to join us?" A woman says, "Nice try, but I know how this scam works." The woman says, "You're trying to lull me into a false sense of activity with a group activity." The woman says, "But we both know the other people will mysteriously never show up." The woman says, "Then it's just you and me on what looks like a date." Dilbert says, "How many people do I have to invite before you believe some of them will show up?" The woman says, "Well, given the disparity in our levels of attractiveness, I'd say thirty-five." Dilbert says, "Can do." The woman says, "Not one other person showed?" Dilbert says, "I only invited women who are more suspicious than you."
Tuesday April 07,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #transferred, #market, #work, #barbecue, #tuesday, #lunch, #unicorn
Transcript
A man holding a drink and wearing a robe and a wreath of leaves on his head says to Dilbert, "You look lost." Music plays in the background. Dilbert says, "I never knew that marketing was like this . . . Do you people do any work?" The man replies, "Well, not on 'Barbecue Tuesday.' Are you staying for lunch? It's unicorn!"
Sunday January 24,
1999
Tags #red white shirt, #spilled, #Women, #party, #drink in face, #salt, #lighter fluid, #set on fire, #burned, #not happy, #not popular
Transcript
Dilbert is at a cocktail party. A woman says, "You spilled red wine on your shirt." The woman says, "You should dilute it with white wine." A woman throws a glass of wine in Dilberts face and says, "You'll thank me for this later." The woman says, "I think that helped." Another woman approaches. Woman 2 says, "You need salt to absorb it." Woman 2 throws a drink in Dilbert's face and says, "Try my margarita." Women 1 says, "Salt didn't work. Let's try pepper spray." Woman 2 says, "Perhaps lighter fluid..." Woman one sprays pepper spray and says, "No harm in trying." Woman 2 says, "I have one more idea." Dilbert walks into his living room with his shirt burned. dilbert says, "Just once, I'd like to got to a party and not be set on fire." Dogbert says, "There is a stain on your rug."
Friday February 28,
2014
Tags #frustration, #work ethic, #drink lots of coffee, #disrespect authority, #reading my goals, #before signing, #accomplish stuff, #feels good
Transcript
Boss: For some reason, your written goals for last year were "Drink lots of coffee" and "Disrespect authority." Wally: Maybe next year your goal should be something about reading my goals before you sign them. Accomplishing stuff feels good. You should try it.
Friday June 27,
2014
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #slacker, #entire career, #listen to podcasts, #drink coffe, #surf internet, #multi slacking
Transcript
Wally: I've been a slacker my entire career, but now I want more out of life. My plan is to listen to podcasts while I drink coffee and search the Internet for fun. Dilbert: Multi-slacking? Wally: Wish me luck.
Monday November 10,
2014
Work Harder Than The Competition
Tags #competitors, #executives, #helicopter, #hypocrisy, #hypocrite, #rich people, #super yacht, #work ethic, #work harder
Transcript
CEO: We can only succeed if we work harder than our competitors! Oops, gotta go. My helicopter is here to take me to my massage appointment on my superyacht. Stop staring at me. I only have to work harder than other CEOs.
Tuesday December 09,
2014
Carol Juggles Work Plus Family
Tags #Family, #happiness, #work, #juggle work, #fighting porcupines, #salt mine, #job, #secretary, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't know how you juggle work plus a family. Carol: Spending time with my family is like fighting porcupines in a salt mine. I come here just to get away from them. Dilbert: So... you like your job? Carol: No, but at least I can go home to get away from it.
Monday March 09,
2015
Wally Will Work When He Is Dead
Tags #death, #strategy, #work ethic, #work, #philosophy, #perfect system, #medical
Transcript
Coworker: I noticed you don't do much work. Wally: My philosophy is that there will be plenty of time to work when I'm dead. Coworker: But you won't be here to do it. Wally: I guess you don't know what a perfect system looks like.