Work Like Idiot Comic Strips
1000 Results for Work Like Idiot
View 1 - 10 results for work like idiot comic strips. Discover the best "Work Like Idiot" comics from Dilbert.com.
"Alice, I need you to be less productive." "I'll get an automatic promotion if I can justify hiring one more direct report." "If I'm going to work like an idiot, I might as well look like one."
The Boss thinks, "My old slogan was, 'Work smarter not harder.'" The Boss thinks, "But people kept leaving for companies that pay more for less work." The Boss stands behind Alice and says, "Work like a frightened idiot!" Alice says, "Catchy."
Alice says, "His brain shut down from information overload, so I asked a libertarian taxidermist to stuff him." Alice says, "There's a hand hole in the back so we can work him like a puppet." Dilbert says, "It's sort of creepy." Alice says, "You'll get used to it."
Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to be less confident. Dilbert: Is that because research has shown that overconfident people don't recognize their own mistakes? Boss: Now I feel like an idiot because I didn't know about those studies. Dogbert: I did him first.
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm going to work like a regular guy even though I just made a fortune in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "That's because I still want to be a useful and contributing member of society." Dilbert continues, "And of course, the workplace is the second most satisfying place to gloat." Dogbert asks, "Are you done here yet?"
Dilbert comes home from work still wearing his robe.. Dilbert says, to dogbert, "You said you'd give me a million bucks if I went to work like this. Pay up." Dogbert says, "I'll bet you double or nothing that you won't go to work totally naked." Dilbert sits naked in his cubicle and thinks, "Wait... what were his exact words?"
Dilbert sits in his robe, he eats breakfast and reads the newspaper. Dogbert says, "I'll give you a million dollars if you go to work like that." Dilbert stands up and says, "I'll call your bluff. I'm doing it. I'm going right now!" Dogbert says, "Go ahead!" Dogbert reads the paper and thinks, "Tonight I expect a long debate over the exact definition of "go to work like that."
Alice : My strategy is to work like a paranoid beaver during the merger. Surely my productivity will be noticed and rewarded when the downsizing begins, Man: and who is alice? The Boss: Im pretty sure thats the bald guy with glasses.
The boss: As I gazed at my bacon and egg this morning, I realized... The chicken contributed, but the pig was commutted. I am so clever. Wally: If I promise to work like a dead big, can i go home early?
catbert: the entire management team has contracted coronavirus and is quarantined. they asked me to tell you to stop working, because without their wisdom, you idiots will ruin everything. any questions? dilbert: no, i think you covered the main themes.