Work Like Idiot Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for work like idiot comic strips. Discover the best "Work Like Idiot" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #less prodcutive, #automatic promotion, #hiring, #work like idiot, #look like idiot, #pointy haired alice

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"Alice, I need you to be less productive." "I'll get an automatic promotion if I can justify hiring one more direct report." "If I'm going to work like an idiot, I might as well look like one."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work smarter, #not harder, #pay more work less, #frightened idiot

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The Boss thinks, "My old slogan was, 'Work smarter not harder.'" The Boss thinks, "But people kept leaving for companies that pay more for less work." The Boss stands behind Alice and says, "Work like a frightened idiot!" Alice says, "Catchy."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #ventriloquism, #information overload, #libertarian, #taxidermist, #hand hole, #work, #like puppet, #creepy, #business

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Alice says, "His brain shut down from information overload, so I asked a libertarian taxidermist to stuff him." Alice says, "There's a hand hole in the back so we can work him like a puppet." Dilbert says, "It's sort of creepy." Alice says, "You'll get used to it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #obliviousness, #hired consultant, #less confident, #overconfident people, #don't recognize mistakes, #didn't know studies, #feel like idiot

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Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to be less confident. Dilbert: Is that because research has shown that overconfident people don't recognize their own mistakes? Boss: Now I feel like an idiot because I didn't know about those studies. Dogbert: I did him first.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #stock market, #fortune, #work, #member, #society, #workplace, #satisfying, #gloat

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm going to work like a regular guy even though I just made a fortune in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "That's because I still want to be a useful and contributing member of society." Dilbert continues, "And of course, the workplace is the second most satisfying place to gloat." Dogbert asks, "Are you done here yet?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #million bucks, #pay up, #double or nothing, #won't go to work, #naked, #exact words

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Dilbert comes home from work still wearing his robe.. Dilbert says, to dogbert, "You said you'd give me a million bucks if I went to work like this. Pay up." Dogbert says, "I'll bet you double or nothing that you won't go to work totally naked." Dilbert sits naked in his cubicle and thinks, "Wait... what were his exact words?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #million dollars, #call bluff, #going now, #long debate

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Dilbert sits in his robe, he eats breakfast and reads the newspaper. Dogbert says, "I'll give you a million dollars if you go to work like that." Dilbert stands up and says, "I'll call your bluff. I'm doing it. I'm going right now!" Dogbert says, "Go ahead!" Dogbert reads the paper and thinks, "Tonight I expect a long debate over the exact definition of "go to work like that."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worry, #paranoid beaver, #productivity rewarded, #alice, #merger, #boss

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Alice : My strategy is to work like a paranoid beaver during the merger. Surely my productivity will be noticed and rewarded when the downsizing begins, Man: and who is alice? The Boss: Im pretty sure thats the bald guy with glasses.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bacon and eggs, #breakfast, #breakfast foods, #chicken, #dead pig, #home early, #pig, #meeting, #animals, #business

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The boss: As I gazed at my bacon and egg this morning, I realized... The chicken contributed, but the pig was commutted. I am so clever. Wally: If I promise to work like a dead big, can i go home early?

Management Got Virus

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Management Got Virus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #health, #management, #coronavirus, #quarantined, #work, #wisdom, #idiot, #theme, #face mask, #sarcasm

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catbert: the entire management team has contracted coronavirus and is quarantined. they asked me to tell you to stop working, because without their wisdom, you idiots will ruin everything. any questions? dilbert: no, i think you covered the main themes.