Work Related Converstaion Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Work Related Converstaion
View 1 - 10 results for work related converstaion comic strips. Discover the best "Work Related Converstaion" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 07,
2001
Tags #unibrow, #growing one, #ban, #work related converstaion, #lunch time, #break room
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally sit with Asok the Intern at the break room table eating lunch. Asok says, "I'm thinking about growing a unibrow." Dilbert, Wally and Asok sit quietly for a moment. Dilbert says, "Maybe we should rethink our ban on work-related conversation during lunch." Asok says, "Please."
Saturday June 21,
2008
Tags #monitor actions, #cameras, #strapped to head, #non work related, #attach sensors, #track thoughts, #engineers, #lab assistant
Transcript
Catbert says, "We monitor all of your actions, but we suspect you are still doing non-work-related thinking." Catbert says, "My lab assistant Trixie will attach sensors to your head and track all of your thoughts." The computer screen says, "Mmm... Trixie, wear this while you wash my electric car." Trixie thinks, "Engineers."
Sunday December 12,
2004
Tags #cubicle vampire, #happy coowrkers, #in search of, #talk, #work related issues, #life drained, #gut instinct, #you're hire
Transcript
Job interview "What's your biggest weakness." "I'm a cubicle vampire." "I wander the cubicles in search of happy coworkers." "Then I pounce!" "Then you suck their blood?" "That was the old way." "I talk about work-related issues until the life is drained from their bodies." "I'm going to trust my gut instinct on this. You're hired." "Have you met the new hire yet?"
Saturday June 28,
2014
Tags #wounds & injuries, #work related injury, #year off, #with pay, #drinking coffee, #listening to podcast, #personal, #butt hurts, #kill, #murder, #surfing internet
Transcript
Wally: I have a work-related injury, so I need a year off with pay. Catbert: What happened? Wally: I was drinking coffee and listening to a podcast while surfing the Internet for personal reasons. Now my buttocks hurt. Catbert: I think I'm within my rights to kill you.
Monday February 08,
2016
Employee Hat With Sensors
Tags #mind control, #thoughts, #police, #policing, #work ethic, #leisure, #daydreaming, #control, #surveillance, #legal
Transcript
Boss: The sensors in your employee hat tell me you are not having work-related thoughts. I have to dock your pay for all of that leisure time you try to sneak into your workday. Here's a screen shot of what you've been thinking. Dilbert: I'm going to remember this as a bad day.
Monday December 10,
2007
Tags #death, #reincarnation, #snicker part, #half man, #half snack, #studied guided reincarnation, #shape shifting, #indian institute, #technology, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert: "Asok died in a work-related accident. His disaster recovery plan was to reincarnate into his own clone." "You are his clone, but your DNA got mixed up with a snickers bar. You are doomed to walk the earth as half man, half snack." "Rrrrr" Asok: "Phew! It is lucky I studied guided reincarnation and advanced shape-shifting at the Indian Institute of Technology."
Tuesday October 20,
2015
Wally Has A Sitting Injury
Tags #injury, #sitting, #human resources, #complaint, #stress, #hurt, #health, #business
Transcript
Wally: I need to report a work-related injury. Studies say extended sitting can increase stress. I sat in my cubicle and got all stressed out. Catbert: You have a sitting injury? Wally: Don't trivialize my pain.
Sunday March 24,
2013
Tags #happiness, #work ethic, #workplace happiness, #direct deposit, #mental distance, #effort, #paycheck, #no clear goal, #doing good work, #job satisafaction, #stress related problems, #highly demotivated, #psychology
Transcript
Asok: Wally, what is the key to workplace happiness? Wally: Well, Asok, it all starts with direct deposit. You want to keep some mental distance between your effort and your paycheck. Next, you want to work on projects that have no clear goals or deadlines. Coworker: Hey, Wally, can you... Wally: No, I'm too busy doing various things. Asok: What about the satisfaction of doing good work? Wally: Job satisfaction is what people feel right before they die from stress-related problems. Asok: I feel highly demotivated right now. Wally: You are very welcome.
Monday November 10,
2014
Work Harder Than The Competition
Tags #competitors, #executives, #helicopter, #hypocrisy, #hypocrite, #rich people, #super yacht, #work ethic, #work harder
Transcript
CEO: We can only succeed if we work harder than our competitors! Oops, gotta go. My helicopter is here to take me to my massage appointment on my superyacht. Stop staring at me. I only have to work harder than other CEOs.
Tuesday December 09,
2014
Carol Juggles Work Plus Family
Tags #Family, #happiness, #work, #juggle work, #fighting porcupines, #salt mine, #job, #secretary, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't know how you juggle work plus a family. Carol: Spending time with my family is like fighting porcupines in a salt mine. I come here just to get away from them. Dilbert: So... you like your job? Carol: No, but at least I can go home to get away from it.