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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #wendell, #stanford, #mba, #workforce, #impressed, #education, #senior, #vice president, #quality, #work

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A man says to Dilbert and Wally, "Hi, guys. I'm Wendell J. Stone the Fourth, recent Stanford MBA and brand new to the workforce." Dilbert and Wally look at each other. Wally says, "Look, 'Wen-dull,' we aren't impressed by your education. At this company it's the quality of your work that counts!" Wendell replies, "I'm your new senior vice president, and I want you to lick the tar off my Porsche now." Wally says, "Okay, but watch the quality of my work!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2007's comic on:


Tags #simulation, #productivity, #workforce, #pandemic

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The Boss: Run a simulation of our productivity if we lost half our workforce to a pandemic. Dilbert: "Should I assume we lose the productive people or the people who ask other people to run pandemic simulations?" The Boss: "Try both ways?" Dilbert: "Okay. I'm done."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #humor, #workplace, #tension, #employee, #Wally, #alice

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and a woman, "I've decided to use humor in the workplace." The Boss continues, "Experts say humor eases tension which is important in times when the workforce is being trimmed." The Boss says to an employee, "Knock-knock." The man asks, "Who's there?" The Boss answers, "Not you anymore."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #black outs, #lights, #motion detectors, #hired a temp, #walk around, #go off, #another journalism major, #waste, #fan us

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The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We've been having a problem with black-outs. The office lights are controlled by motion detectors." A man stands next to the Boss flapping his arms. The Boss continues, "I hired a temp to walk around and flap his arms so the lights won't go off." Dilbert and Wally watch the temp flap his arms. Dilbert says, "Another Journalism major enters the workforce." Wally says, "It seems like a waste. Maybe he could fan us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #skill assessment, #lazy, #bad worker, #morning person, #sleepy, #afternoon, #sell stock, #stand on chair

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Wally says, "I get sleepy in the afternoon. And I'm not a morning person." Wally says, "I'm at my best for about an hour in between, which explains why I'm an exceptionally good lunch eater." The Boss says, "How's the workforce skills assessment going?" Catbert says, "I just sold all of my company stock."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2013's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #internet & world wide web, #binder, #cloud

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Boss: Alan has been out of the workforce for a long time. I need you to ease him back in. Coworker: Do you have a binder of the company policies? Dilbert: It's in the cloud.

A Wally Robot

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A Wally Robot  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #modernity, #technology, #automation, #coffee

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Asok: Do you worry that a robot will someday take your job? Wally: Nah. No one will build a robot that does nothing but drink coffee. Man: It does nothing but drink coffee. It can replace twenty percent of your workforce. Boss: I like it.