Search Results for "workplace"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 29

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #stock market, #fortune, #work, #member, #society, #workplace, #satisfying, #gloat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm going to work like a regular guy even though I just made a fortune in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "That's because I still want to be a useful and contributing member of society." Dilbert continues, "And of course, the workplace is the second most satisfying place to gloat." Dogbert asks, "Are you done here yet?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #humor, #workplace, #tension, #employee, #Wally, #alice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and a woman, "I've decided to use humor in the workplace." The Boss continues, "Experts say humor eases tension which is important in times when the workforce is being trimmed." The Boss says to an employee, "Knock-knock." The man asks, "Who's there?" The Boss answers, "Not you anymore."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1995's comic on:

Tags #performance this year, #tasks, #tiny raise, #boss asigned, #bonus, #keeping salaries low, #workplace violence

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk and Dilbert sits across from him. The Boss tells Dilbert, "Your performance this year was good, but you worked on tasks that aren't important. Therefore you get a tiny raise." Dilbert looks angry as he replies, "I worked on the tasks YOU assigned. What's that say about YOUR performance?" The Boss replies, "It's excellent. I get a bonus for keeping salaries low." Dilbert asks, "Have you seen any literature on workplace violence?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1996's comic on:

Tags #another company benefit, #new policy forbids, #permit, #season, #use of weapons, #violence, #workplace

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new policy forbids the use of weapons or any violence in the workplace." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Ummm . . . What was the policy before this?" The Boss responds, "I'm not sure . . . Maybe if you had a permit and it was in season." Wally says, "There goes another company benefit."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 1998's comic on:

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #look stressed, #champion, #workplace, #stress no more, #unpaid overtime, #ignite hair, #pissed ouff, #angry, #taken advantage

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert remarks to Alice, "You look stressed out, Alice." Catbert says, "I could fix that by becoming a champion for improvements in the workplace." Catbert says, "Or I could give you a little booklet called 'Stress No More'." Catbert says, "Hmm.. I wonder which way is best." Alice reaches for booklet. Alice reads, "'Stress is your body's way of saying.." Alice continues, "'..You haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.'" Alice starts to get mad. Catbert says, "I've never seen a woman's forehead ignite her hair before."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2003's comic on:

Tags #hapy, #spacious offcie, #ocean view, #workplace, #personalized environemnt, #brad pitt

View Transcript

Transcript

"Who's today's guest cartoonist?" Dilbert: "I'm so happy in my new spacious office with an ocean view." "Finally I have the workplace I've always dreamed of." Wally: "The personalized environment headset works, sir." The boss: "Brad Pitt! Shouldn't you put a shirt on?" ANSER: GO TO DILBERT.COM

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2004's comic on:

Tags #workplace injuries, #10 thousand percent, #new safety manuals, #website, #blood pressure rising, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "Workplace injuries are up ten thousand percent since I distributed the new safety manuals." "The binders have sharp edges and, apparently, a curse. I asked Asok to help put it on our website." Asok: "Hands... So numb. Eyes... Strained. Blood pressure rising..."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2004's comic on:

Tags #stalking new hire, #date tomorrow, #employee orientation, #workplace hazards

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: hows your stalking of the new hire going? Wally: we have a date for tomorrow. Alice: She's in an employee orientation meeting today. wally: Uh - oh. Module four is about identifying workplace hazards.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2005's comic on:

Tags #human resources, #change name, #workplace, #evil enough, #evil laugh, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I might change my department's name." "To "Workplace Services." BU-WHA-HA-HA-HA!!" "When things don't sound evil enough on their own, I like to toss in a bu-wha-ha-ha-ha."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2005's comic on:

Tags #pension fund, #solevent, #workplace safety, #ceo, #smoking is cool

View Transcript

Transcript

"Management is pleased to announce that it has a plan to make your pension fun solvent." "In unrelated news, the guidelines for workplace safety have been relaxed." "Our CEO reminds you that smoking is cool."