Worlds Safest Nuclear Plant Comic Strips
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97 Results for Worlds Safest Nuclear Plant
View 1 - 10 results for worlds safest nuclear plant comic strips. Discover the best "Worlds Safest Nuclear Plant" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 18,
2002
Tags #chosen to design, #worlds safest nuclear plant, #great assignment, #safe, #not near my house
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, you have been chosen to design the world's safest nuclear power plant." Dilbert replies, "This is the greatest assignment that any engineer could hope for. I'm flattered by the trust you have in me." The Boss responds, "By 'safe' I mean 'not near my house.'"
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Tuesday April 09,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #freak, #accident, #bestow, #powers, #nuclear, #plant, #industrial, #keep, #out, #sign
Transcript
Dilbert sits at the table wearing a super hero suit that has a hood, cape and letter "D" on the front. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm tired of waiting for a freak accident to bestow super powers upon me." Dilbert says as he walks away, "I'm going to the nuclear power plant to wait for an industrial accident." Dilbert approaches an industrial plant. Three other men in super hero suits stand under a sign that says, "Keep out."
Thursday February 21,
2002
Tags #dont judge, #elbonia, #electricity, #huge barges, #ideas, #toasters, #trained porpoises, #brainstorm
Transcript
Dilbert points to a diagram and asks, "How do we get the electricity from our nuclear plant in Elbonia to the toasters over here?" Dilbert continues, "Let's brainstorm and remember not to judge any ideas at this stage." The Boss says, "I'm thinking about huge barges and trained porpoises - lots of them." Asok thinks, "Must.. Not...Judge."
Tuesday February 19,
2002
Tags #totally safe, #nuclear power plant, #elbonia, #slacve labor, #woo-hoo
Transcript
Dilbert says to Wally and Asok, "Our assignment is to design a totally safe nuclear power plant." Wally responds, "Let's put it in Elbonia. That seems safe to me." An Elbonian says to another, "Our offer of cheerful slave labor paid off!" The other responds, "Woo-Hoo!!"
Wednesday February 20,
2002
Tags #nuclear power plant, #our process, #gather customer requirements, #free electricity, #mutating, #xray vision
Transcript
Dilbert says to Wally and Asok, "None of us has designed a nuclear power plant before but we can figure it out by using our process." Dilbert continues, "In phase one we will gather customer requirements." Asok is meeting with a customer. Asok says, "So.. you want free electricity without mutating, unless the mutation gives you X-Ray vision." The customer responds, "Yep."
Saturday February 23,
2002
Tags #elbonia, #oversee construction, #nuclear power plant, #first order, #uranium, #director of security
Transcript
Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert says to two Elbonians, "I'm here to oversee the construction of the nuclear power plant." Dilbert continues, "The first order of business is security for the uranium." An Elbonian responds, "A pig ate it." Dilbert exclaims, "What?! I demand to see your director of security!" The Elbonian answers, "You'll have to wait; the pig ate him too."
Friday February 22,
2002
Tags #working model, #test plant design, #how big, #real one, #certificate
Transcript
Dilbert is working on a model. The Boss approaches. Dilbert says, "I built a working model to test my nuclear power plant design." The Boss asks, "How big will the real one be?" Dilbert responds, "About half this size. And it will cost $23 to build." The Boss replies, "I'd give you an attaboy certificate but my printer is out of paper."
Monday April 01,
2019
Nuclear Power Invention
Tags #money, #office, #office workers, #nuclear power
Transcript
dilbert: i invented a new type of nuclear power that has zero risk. dilbert: it can be built in one day for less that a thousand dollars and it can power a small city. the boss visually upset and yelling: get that thing out of here! dilbert: i expect it will be hard to sell.
Saturday June 19,
2021
Potted Plant
Tags #business, #communication, #job, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #employees, #feelings, #potted plant, #new, #boss
Transcript
ceo: the only reason you have a job is so i don't have to talk to employees. but i still talk to you every day, so i hired a potted plant to be your new boss. boss: i feel deeply insulted. ceo: see? a plant would never feel that way.
Sunday September 25,
2011
Tags #competition (psychology), #goals for the year, #assignments, #average raise, #invent nuclear fusion, #lack of knowledge
Transcript
Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.