Worlds Worst Boss Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Worlds Worst Boss
View 1 - 10 results for worlds worst boss comic strips. Discover the best "Worlds Worst Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 28,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #another anonymous email, #correlation, #employees, #link to article, #worlds worst boss, #business
Transcript
Boss: Someone sent me another anonymous email with a link to an article about the world's worst bosses. I get one of those emails every time I leave your cubicle. Did you think I wouldn't notice the correlation? Wally: Correlation does not imply causation.
Monday March 24,
2014
Tags #conversation, #potato, #worlds worst conversationalist, #russet
Transcript
Coworker: Did I tell you about the time I saw a potato? Asok: We are being assaulted by the world's worst conversationalist. Coworker: It was a russet! Asok: Help! Help! Help!
Friday May 14,
2010
Tags #computer, #engineer, #worst user interface, #click, #sell social security number, #overhead view of cubicle, #technology, #engineering
Transcript
Dilber thinks, "The world's greatest engineer prepares to do battle with the world's worst user interface." Dilbert thinks, "I hope that did something." Computer says, "Your social security number has been sold."
Tuesday January 20,
2009
Tags #business, #plan, #revenue, #excitement, #hair, #money sign
Transcript
Vijay, the world's worst venture capitalist Dilbert says, "A hundred million people need this type of service." Dilbert says, "I already built the website and people are signing up." Foop! $ Vijay says, "When we negotiate my equity stake, focus on my poker face and not my optimistic hair." Yeeha!!!
Friday July 20,
2012
Tags #competitors, #gadgets, #motorcycle, #smartphone, #threat, #worlds greatest
Transcript
Dilbert: I've created the world's greatest smartphone. Boss: Wow. This is so amazing that I'll need to kill you so our competitors never learn how to imitate it. Dilbert: Or you could give me a huge bonus. Boss: Okay, sure. I'll have a guy on a motorcycle attach it to your car.
Wednesday August 03,
1994
Tags #best assets, #competitions worst, #employees on job, #hidden camera, #imply, #they work for competition, #ad agency, #dogbert's ad agency
Transcript
Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Your commercial should compare your best assets to the competition's worst. we'll use a hidden camera to film your employees on the job. The Boss: I missed something here... Dogbert: we'll imply that they all work for the competition . this isn't a documentary.
Sunday September 02,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #talk, #respect, #intangible, #body language, #victory, #workers
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "The worst he can do is fire me . . ." Dilbert says, "Boss, I need to talk to you." Dilbert continues, "I feel you don't respect me . . ." Dilbert continues, "It's an intangible thing . . ." The Boss thinks, "Sneeze coming . . ." Dilbert continues, "I see it in your body language . . ." The Boss grabs Dilbert's shirt. Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes the things you say . . ." The Boss rips Dilbert's shirt off his body. The Boss sneezes and uses Dilbert's shirt as a handkerchief. Dilbert sits at his desk without a shirt. He says, "This has been something less than a victory for workers everywhere."
Saturday March 09,
1996
Tags #dazzling demo, #dark angel demos, #demo, #sham, #doomed, #file server, #worst is over
Transcript
Dilbert says to the new VP, "We planned a dazzling demo for you, but as you can see we're being visited by the dark angel of demos." From inside the monitor Phil says, "The demo is a sham. Their project is doomed. Cut their funding before your name is associated with it." The Boss and the new VP look shocked. Dilbert thinks, "The worst is over." Phil continues, "Look at some of the pictures the 'boys' store on the file server."
Thursday August 06,
1998
Tags #digital archive, #worlds greatest art, #fix the errors, #artists, #errors, #too much blue
Transcript
The boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at the conference table. The boss says, "We won the bid to create a digital archive of the world's greatest art." The boss says, "This will give us a chance to fix any errors made by the artists." Wally says, "Errors?" The boss says, "For example, there was a guy who used too much blue for a whole period."
Friday August 07,
1998
Tags #digitized, #indexed, #worlds greatest art, #last supper, #composition cluttered, #delete, #replace, #clip art, #bagels
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer. The boss stands. Dilbert says, "We've digitized and indexed the world's greatest art. This is 'The Last Supper.'" The boss says, "Nice but..." The boss says, "The composition is cluttered. Delete a few of those guys. Do you have any clip art of bagels?" The boss says, "Do they look happy?" Dilbert says, "Compared to me, yes."