Worlds Worst Conversationalist Comic Strips
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123 Results for Worlds Worst Conversationalist
View 1 - 10 results for worlds worst conversationalist comic strips. Discover the best "Worlds Worst Conversationalist" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 24,
2014
Tags #conversation, #potato, #worlds worst conversationalist, #russet
Transcript
Coworker: Did I tell you about the time I saw a potato? Asok: We are being assaulted by the world's worst conversationalist. Coworker: It was a russet! Asok: Help! Help! Help!
Monday November 28,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #another anonymous email, #correlation, #employees, #link to article, #worlds worst boss, #business
Transcript
Boss: Someone sent me another anonymous email with a link to an article about the world's worst bosses. I get one of those emails every time I leave your cubicle. Did you think I wouldn't notice the correlation? Wally: Correlation does not imply causation.
Friday May 14,
2010
Tags #computer, #engineer, #worst user interface, #click, #sell social security number, #overhead view of cubicle, #technology, #engineering
Transcript
Dilber thinks, "The world's greatest engineer prepares to do battle with the world's worst user interface." Dilbert thinks, "I hope that did something." Computer says, "Your social security number has been sold."
Tuesday January 20,
2009
Tags #business, #plan, #revenue, #excitement, #hair, #money sign
Transcript
Vijay, the world's worst venture capitalist Dilbert says, "A hundred million people need this type of service." Dilbert says, "I already built the website and people are signing up." Foop! $ Vijay says, "When we negotiate my equity stake, focus on my poker face and not my optimistic hair." Yeeha!!!
Wednesday July 20,
2011
Tags #hardware, #internet & world wide web, #next week balancing, #traffic loads, #network, #worst wingman, #shame
Transcript
Wally: Is it okay if I spend the next week balancing traffic loads on our newtork? Asok: I thought I told you that our hardware vendor already did that. Wally: Worst wingman ever. Asok: Shame is my name!
Saturday October 15,
2011
Tags #cruelty, #frustration, #surrogate crier, #worst meeting, #frustrated, #streotype
Transcript
Alice: I'm so frustrated that I want to cry, but I refuse to fall into the stereotype. Asok, I'm making you my surrogate crier. This might hurt a little. Asok: Worst meeting ever. Dilbert: I thought you did a good job on the high notes.
Friday July 20,
2012
Tags #competitors, #gadgets, #motorcycle, #smartphone, #threat, #worlds greatest
Transcript
Dilbert: I've created the world's greatest smartphone. Boss: Wow. This is so amazing that I'll need to kill you so our competitors never learn how to imitate it. Dilbert: Or you could give me a huge bonus. Boss: Okay, sure. I'll have a guy on a motorcycle attach it to your car.
Thursday January 09,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #snack, #apple, #rat, #worst, #part, #eat
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert enters carrying an apple and says, "Snack time, Dilbert! I brought you an apple so you will like me!" Dilbert says, "Nice try, Ratbert, but I don't want to eat something that was touched by a rat." Ratbert says sadly, "The worst part is that's why I didn't eat it myself."
Wednesday August 03,
1994
Tags #best assets, #competitions worst, #employees on job, #hidden camera, #imply, #they work for competition, #ad agency, #dogbert's ad agency
Transcript
Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Your commercial should compare your best assets to the competition's worst. we'll use a hidden camera to film your employees on the job. The Boss: I missed something here... Dogbert: we'll imply that they all work for the competition . this isn't a documentary.
Saturday March 09,
1996
Tags #dazzling demo, #dark angel demos, #demo, #sham, #doomed, #file server, #worst is over
Transcript
Dilbert says to the new VP, "We planned a dazzling demo for you, but as you can see we're being visited by the dark angel of demos." From inside the monitor Phil says, "The demo is a sham. Their project is doomed. Cut their funding before your name is associated with it." The Boss and the new VP look shocked. Dilbert thinks, "The worst is over." Phil continues, "Look at some of the pictures the 'boys' store on the file server."