Worst Week Comic Strips
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514 Results for Worst Week
View 1 - 10 results for worst week comic strips. Discover the best "Worst Week" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 26,
2007
Tags #meeting, #projects, #complete projects, #calculated risk, #tasks, #lateness irrelevant, #worst week, #business
Transcript
"And Wally, did you finish your project tasks for today?" Wally: "No. I took a calculated risk that other people would not finish their tasks either, making my lateness totally irrelevant." "Um..." "That is the worst..." "I need another week."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday July 20,
2011
Tags #hardware, #internet & world wide web, #next week balancing, #traffic loads, #network, #worst wingman, #shame
Transcript
Wally: Is it okay if I spend the next week balancing traffic loads on our newtork? Asok: I thought I told you that our hardware vendor already did that. Wally: Worst wingman ever. Asok: Shame is my name!
Friday May 13,
2011
Tags #administrative agencies, #project timeline, #waste one week, #set up meeting, #available in a week
Transcript
Dilbert: I estimated the project timeline by assuming that everyone involved will waste one week. Boss: That's a stupid way to do a timeline. Set up a meeting and I'll show you how it's supposed to be done. Carol: He's available in a week.
Saturday July 30,
2011
Tags #exercise & fitness, #office workers, #using company gym, #60 hrs week, #paying for itself
Transcript
Boss: Ted, I can't give you a raise because you've been using the company gym during work hours. Ted: I work sixty hours a week! Why did we build a new gym if I'm not supped to use it?? Boss: You were right. That gym is totally paying for itself.
Saturday October 15,
2011
Tags #cruelty, #frustration, #surrogate crier, #worst meeting, #frustrated, #streotype
Transcript
Alice: I'm so frustrated that I want to cry, but I refuse to fall into the stereotype. Asok, I'm making you my surrogate crier. This might hurt a little. Asok: Worst meeting ever. Dilbert: I thought you did a good job on the high notes.
Monday October 31,
2011
Tags #employees, #illness, #marketing people, #brain heals, #drank sludge, #brain worm, #dead in a week, #business
Transcript
Asok: Hi-ho, marketing people! I've been transferred into your department until mky brain heals. I drank some industrial sludge. But don't worry - I'll be able to shake it off in a few days. A little pollution can't hurt me. I grew up in India. This brain worm will be dead in a week, tops.
Monday November 28,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #another anonymous email, #correlation, #employees, #link to article, #worlds worst boss, #business
Transcript
Boss: Someone sent me another anonymous email with a link to an article about the world's worst bosses. I get one of those emails every time I leave your cubicle. Did you think I wouldn't notice the correlation? Wally: Correlation does not imply causation.
Monday December 19,
2011
Tags #big business, #inventions, #google, #develop ideas, #60 hours, #per week, #math, #education
Transcript
Man: At Google, we're encouraged to spend 20% of our time developing our own ideas. Dilbert: How many hours per week do you work? Man: About sixty. Wally: It sounds better when you don't do the math.
Saturday January 28,
2012
Tags #absent mindedness, #machinery, #build robots, #wait a week, #forgets
Transcript
CEO: Stop everything you're doing and build robots. Dilbert: Let's wait a week and see if he forgets. Boss: Does that work? Alice: It works with you.
Monday April 09,
2012
Tags #Family, #work from home, #2 days err week, #reduce carbon foorprint, #wife, #small children, #egg carton, #talking to moron, #relationships
Transcript
Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.