Worthless Employee Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

566 Results for Worthless Employee

View 1 - 10 results for worthless employee comic strips. Discover the best "Worthless Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 1998's comic on:


Tags #worthless employee, #newspapaer artcicles, #routes them around, #articles relevant, #more work, #third stall

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sit at his computer. Ted holds a piece of newsprint. Ted says, "I'm a worthless employee who cuts out newspaper articles and routes them around." Ted hands Wally the article. Ted says, "I used to make sure the articles were relevant, but that was more work that it was worth." Wally says, "I saw this already." Ted says, "It's from your paper. You always leave it in the third stall."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2005's comic on:


Tags #employees, #the boss, #asok, #projects, #new, #challenge, #tina, #write, #newsletter, #worthless, #assistant

View Transcript

Transcript

I have completed all of my projects and I am ready for a new challenge. "You can help Tina write the department newsletter." "But the newsletter job is only given to the most worthless employee." "And her assistant."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #humiliate employees, #employee recognition, #worthless award, #pocket lint, #better job

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert sits at his desk thinking, "When I'm in a bad mood, I like to think of ways to humiliate the employees." Catbert thinks, "Hmm . . . How about an employee recognition program with a thoroughly worthless award." Catbert purrs. The Boss hands Dilbert a plaque and says, "It's pocket lint from a vice president's trousers. He was wearing them on the day he left for a better job."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #alarmed, #rat floating, #mid air, #rendered invisible, #worthless assignments, #bad attitude, #quality meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is surprised to see Ratbert hanging in midair. Ratbert says, "Don't be alarmed. I'm not really a rat floating in midair." Ratbert continues, "I'm clinging to the back of an employee who has been rendered invisible by a long succession of worthless assignments." The Boss comments, "Looks like an isolated case of bad attitude." Behind the Boss, a beaver is suspended in midair. The beaver asks, "Which room is the 'quality' meeting in?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2008's comic on:


Tags #mole hired, #boss, #sneak, #mole as mole, #people think, #gas bag, #bad press, #bad thoughts, #worthless, #self important

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: What have you learned this week working as my employee mole? Mole: Some of the people in this building think you're a worthless, self-important gas bag. The Boss: What do other people think? Mole: They don't know you."

How Dilbert Can Help

Thank you for voting.
How Dilbert Can Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #project, #criticism, #option, #boss, #worthless

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How can I help you on your project? Woman Employee: I'll send you my files and you can do all of my work while I criticize you behind your back. Dilbert: Is there another option? Woman Employee: Yes, it' involves telling your boss you're worthless.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #prejudice, #universities & colleges, #updating employee profiles, #school. indian institute of technology, #double major, #engineering, #false humility, #combined thesis, #terraformed planet

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "Hey, Asok. I'm updating our employee profiles. Where'd you go to school?" Asok says, "I graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology in Lucknow with a double major in engineering and physics, and a minor in false humility." Asok says, "For my combined thesis I terraformed a planet in another dimension and didn't tell anyone." Carol says, "I'll put 'Indian.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2011's comic on:


Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #surveillance, #security, #employee locator device, #smarthone, #questions, #text to yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Security says your employee locator device isn't turned on. Dilbert: My what? Boss: I think you call it your smartphone. Dilbert: I might have some questions. Boss: Put them in a text to yourself. I'll read them later.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2011's comic on:


Tags #depression (mental state), #despair, #unfulfilled, #totally worthless, #coffee maker, #breakroom, #distract

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I am unfulfilled at my job. When does that feeling go away? Dilbert: Asok, you shouldn't think you're totally worthless. Asok: Um... I didn't say I was worthless. Dilbert: I'm trying to take your mind off of the other thing.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #cruelty, #impossible, #totally worthless, #vacations

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: It's impossible to get anything done this time of year because everyone who isn't totally worthless is on vacation. Dilbert: None taken.