Worthless Employees Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

659 Results for Worthless Employees

View 1 - 10 results for worthless employees comic strips. Discover the best "Worthless Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stealth layoff, #evil director, #human resources, #worthless employees, #job no longer exists, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I call it a stealth layoff." "We move all of the worthless employees to the same project. When it's done, we tell them that their jobs no longer exist." "I don't like the look of this."

Dilbert Characters

Keeping The Worthless People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Keeping The Worthless People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #salary, #incompetence

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've noticed that 20% of my employees do 80% of the work around here. But I need to keep all of the worthless employees because my pay is based on how many people report to me. Catbert: Doesn't their incompetence bother you? Boss: Not since I found a way to get paid for it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #humiliate employees, #employee recognition, #worthless award, #pocket lint, #better job

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert sits at his desk thinking, "When I'm in a bad mood, I like to think of ways to humiliate the employees." Catbert thinks, "Hmm . . . How about an employee recognition program with a thoroughly worthless award." Catbert purrs. The Boss hands Dilbert a plaque and says, "It's pocket lint from a vice president's trousers. He was wearing them on the day he left for a better job."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #the boss, #asok, #projects, #new, #challenge, #tina, #write, #newsletter, #worthless, #assistant

View Transcript

Transcript

I have completed all of my projects and I am ready for a new challenge. "You can help Tina write the department newsletter." "But the newsletter job is only given to the most worthless employee." "And her assistant."

13 Percent Employees Engaged

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
13 Percent Employees Engaged - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee, #employees, #engagement, #motivation, #global survey, #engaged at work, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: A global survey says only 13% of employees feel engaged at work. Dilbert: If you're wondering which one of your employees is engaged, it's this guy. Boss: We need ten more just like him. Dilbert: I think I just figured out what's wrong with the rest of us.

Homeless Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Homeless Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #concern, #cost, #employees, #homeless persons, #office workers, #pretend

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: We need to do something about our employees being homeless. Housing costs are too high around here. Boss: Maybe we could pay them more. Dogbert: I was thinking more along the lines of pretending to be concerned. Boss: I like where you're going with this.

Best Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #confused, #employees, #customer service

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We have the best employees in the industry! Dilbert: Then why are we ranked last in customer satisfaction? CEO: I blame our customers. Wally: Why can't they be awesome like us?

Best Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #best, #office workers, #industry, #attitude

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we have the best employees in the entire industry. except for ted obviously. ted: wait...what? boss: and here comes the attitude.

Incompetent Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Incompetent Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #bureaucratic, #employees, #incompetent, #inefficiency, #yin, #yang

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: it might my imagination, but it looks as if all of our employees are incompetent. boss: we need to create a tangle of bureaucratic rules that make it impossible for them to get anything done. catbert: you want to use inefficiency to protect us against incompetence? boss: yin and yang.

Show Interest In Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Show Interest In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appointment, #business, #doctor, #employees, #hate, #interest, #leave, #life, #managers & supervisors, #prank, #question

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i have a doctor appointment. boss: what's wrong with you? alice yelling: that's none of your stinkin' business! stay our of my life! boss to catbert: didn't you advise me to show interest in my employees? catbert: i was pranking you. they hate that.