Wretched Slaves Comic Strips
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15 Results for Wretched Slaves
View 1 - 10 results for wretched slaves comic strips. Discover the best "Wretched Slaves" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 25,
2004
Tags #wretched slaves, #freinds, #private offcies, #cubilces, #roman general, #dogbertious, #slaves, #treatment, #evil dogbert
Transcript
The boss: I'm reading the leadership secrets of the famous Roman general Dogbertious. "Heres a good one: 'Put your wretced slaves in cubicles.'" Heres another: Don't read this book to wretched slaves"
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Tuesday August 23,
1994
Tags #genetic research, #clone, #obedient slaves, #conquer, #world dominion, #living things, #work on giant cucumbers, #arms and legs
Transcript
Genetic research Dogbert: Id like you to clone an army of obedient slaves for me, I plan to conquer the world and have dominion over all living things. scientist: I mostly work on giant cucumbers. Dogbert: Mix in some arms and legs and give me two packages of seeds.
Saturday July 08,
1995
Tags #teamwork, #egyptians, #pyramids, #slaves, #built by slaves, #shooting, #guided by ufos
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert and Alice sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "I want us to have the same kind of teamwork as the Egyptians who built the pyramids!" Alice comments, "Some scholars believe the pyramids were built by slaves." The Boss replies, "But there's some doubt; that's all I'm shooting for." Dilbert says, "I think THEY were guided by UFOs too."
Friday July 26,
1996
Tags #dogcart institure, #advanced thinking, #ending pverty, #televison, #wretched lives, #paid guests, #straggler cops
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk chair and tells Dilbert, "Here in the 'Dogbert Institute for Advanced Thinking,' I have devised a plan for ending poverty." Dogbert continues, "My plan is to wait until there are so many talk shows on television that all the people with wretched lives can be paid guests." Dilbert asks, "What about the poor people who don't want to be on talk shows?" Dogbert replies, "We'll get the stragglers on 'Cops.'"
Thursday June 09,
2005
Tags #good people quit, #wretched, #incompetent, #lazy
Transcript
wally: "Have you ever noticed all of the good people quit?" Dilbert: "There's no one left her bu wretched, incompetent, lazy miscreants" wally: "A-A-nyhoo."
Monday February 09,
2015
How Is Work
Tags #etiquette & ethics, #inventions, #morality, #robot, #robots, #emotionally manipulate, #slaves, #machines
Transcript
Woman: How's work? Dilbert: I taught robots how to emotionally manipulate people and thus guaranteed that homo sapeins will become slaves to machines. Woman: I don't want to think about that. Dilbert: That's why it works.
Monday July 13,
2015
Buy One Elbonian
Tags #slave, #slaves, #slavery, #owner, #obliviousness, #nuance, #help, #maid, #maids, #servant, #servants, #semantics
Transcript
Alice: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: That is unfair. I buy a few Elbonians on the Internet and suddenly I'm the "slave owner" guy. Alice: You are literally an owner of slaves. CEO: I prefer to think of them as bad negotiators.
Wednesday July 22,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #future, #internet & world wide web, #math, #news, #news reporter, #supercomputer, #nut mines, #conquer
Transcript
A newsreporter wearing a trenchcoat says into a microphone, "This man used his supercomputer to predict the future of the world." The reporter holds the microphone out and Dilbert says, "Within five years, evil squirrels will conquer the world and make us all slaves in their nut mines." The reporter says, "The squirrels should love this guy." Dilbert adds, "It's based on actual math."
Sunday February 27,
1994
Tags #dog collar, #keep track, #employee slaves, #final humiliation, #cubicles, #gerbils, #rationalization, #mechanisms, #collar, #6 foot extension cord, #dog, #adapting, #animals
Transcript
The Boss: "Here's your employee locator device." "Sensors in the building will be able to track you at all times." "We'll know how many times you use the restroom and how long." "It's a dog collar...the final humiliation." "Once you got used to working in cubicles like gerbils, we knew anything was possible." "My conformance rationalization mechanisms are kicking in." "It's not so bad. A collar is simply an efficient design. Everyone is doing it." "It's not so bad." "It's powered by this six foot long extension cord."
Thursday November 12,
1998
Tags #Dogbert, #acting like king, #monarch system, #crown
Transcript
Dogbert stands on the kitchen table. Dogbert wears a crown. Dilbert sits in his bathrobe, eating breakfast and reading the newspaper. Dogbert says, "I am your king! Bow before me, peasant!" No reaction from Dilbert. Dogbert says, "This was a test of the emergency monarch system." Dogbert says, "If this were a real monarchy, you would already be wretched."