Search Results for "zoo"
Share December 02, 1991's comic on:
The Boss points to a monkey and says, "Dilbert, your new co-worker is Zimbu the Monkey." The Boss says, "Zimbu learned English from the zoo keepers in a special program." Dilbert says, "This monkey is an insult to the intelligence of the other workers and I!" Zimbu corrects Dilbert, "Other workers and 'me,' not 'I.'"
Share December 03, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of Zimbu the Monkey's desk and says, "Look, Zimbu, you might have learned language skills at the zoo, but it takes more than that to be an engineer." Wally enters and says, "Dilbert, Zimbu, let's hit the cafeteria for morning donuts." Dilbert, Wally and Zimbu sit at a table eating donuts. Dilbert says, "Okay, after ten a.m. it takes more than language skills to be an engineer." Wally says, "Not today -- we have a staff meeting."
Share January 19, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert and his uncle sit at a table eating dinner. Dilbert says, "Uncle Ned, can we see your hunting trophies after dinner?" Dilbert looks at a mounted bear head and says, "Oooh . . ." Ned says, "I bagged this one at the zoo." Dilbert says, "The zoo? That's illegal." Ned replies, "No wonder everybody got so excited." Ned shows Dilbert some other plaques and says, "These are some doves I killed with the help of my loyal dog, Rusty." They walk past a mounted dog and Ned says, "That's Rusty. We ran out of doves . . ." They look at the heads of a man, woman and cat. Ned says, "These were my neighbors - Florence, Dave and Muffin." Dilbert carries Dogbert under his arm and says, "Hey, look at the time! Got to run!" Ned asks, "Don't you want to see my 'Hall-O'-Postal Employees'?" Dilbert and Dogbert leave the house. Dilbert says, "New rule: Find out their hobbies before you eat their pot roast." Dogbert says, "We should have stayed for the 'Hall-O'-Postal Employees.'"
Share March 18, 2002's comic on:
The Boss says to Carol, "Carol, put together a survey to find out why morale is so low." Carol responds, "Survey?!! You could ask any monkey at the zoo what the problem is." The Boss is talking to a monkey through zoo bars. The Boss says, "Do NOT fling that. I repeat..."
Share April 25, 1999's comic on:
Title reads: "Dogbert Presents." Dogbert stands in front a sign, reading "Managing by Analogies." He says, "It's easy!" The Boss and Dilbert at a table. The Boss says, "We'll solve our distribution problem the eskimo way." Dilbert responds, "Huh?" The Boss continues, "The eskimos gather ice all winter long." Then, "Later, during the lean summer months, the eskimos eat the ice they stored." The Boss adds, "We'll do the same thing." Dilbert explains, "But... the eskimos would starve if they only ate ice." The Boss says, "Maybe they eat penguins too. They're delicious." The Boss stands and adds, "Did you know the zoo can ban you for life if they catch you using a hibachi?"
Share May 06, 2018's comic on:
Dogbert: Would you like to buy an insurance policy to protect against a humorous death? Boss: Why would I need it? Dogbert: well, let's say you're at the zoo and you drop your sunglasses into the lion pit. You lower yourself into the pit to get the sunglasses, but the lions get to you first. You don't want the headlines to read "Pointy-haired Idiot Mauled To Death By The King Of The Jungle." So instead, the moment you die, my agents rush in to create a narrative for the media. In this case, we might spin the story as "Local Man Teaches Zoo How To Reduce Food Costs." Boss: Are the policies affordable? Dogbert: Yes, if you waive the coverage for mascot-related deaths.