2004 Comic Strips
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Character
Thursday January 01,
2004
Tags #office relocation, #procedures, #wrong cubicle, #easily stealable, #move computer, #rules and regulations, #company rules
Transcript
Office relocation. Esok: you are not allowed to move you own computer. It must be left in an easily sealable condition for three days until the movers take it to the wrong cubicle. Then untrained I.T Professionals will shove an ethernet cable and stapler and call it good. Dilbert: get out of my way
Friday January 02,
2004
Tags #office relocation, #cubicle, #air duct, #facilities, #chip out penguin, #cold, #cooler
Transcript
"Office relocation." "Some cubicles are slightly less desirable than others." "For example, your new cubicle is below an air duct so it is sometimes cooler than the area around it." "I asked the facilities people to chip out the penguin as soon as possible."
Saturday January 03,
2004
Tags #office relocation., #new cubicle, #less roomy, #need butter, #torso, #slide in, #attracts rats, #cheap, #low budget
Transcript
Office relocation. Asok: Your new cubicle is less roomy than the old one. You will need this butter. Apply it liberally to your torso area and you can slide right in. But don't stay in there for more than 10 minutes at a time because it attracts rats.
Sunday January 04,
2004
Tags #vp of marketing, #new version of prodcut, #testamnet, #customers, #new version, #raw data, #customers hate us
Transcript
As Vp of marketing, I am proud to introduce the new version of our product. Behold!! This sia testament to what can happen when you listen to customers. we asked customers what they wanted the new version to do. Six months ago I gave that raw data to you engineers. Today we see the result. Its the first time Ive seen it myself. whats it do? BAM!! Our customers said they hate us.
Monday January 05,
2004
Tags #trick, #paper, #look busy, #paper trick, #hallways, #wander, #office, #appearences, #rest, #avoid work
Transcript
"It looks like an ordinary piece of paper, but I added this finger holder." "Now when I wander the hallways looking busy I can totally rest my hand." "Working hard?" "Not any more!"
Tuesday January 06,
2004
Tags #cell phone bill, #expense, #award, #speech, #lost cell phone, #low bill, #company phone
Transcript
"The expense cutters award goes to Wally for drastically lowering his cell phone bill." "Wally, would you like to say a few words to the group?" "I lost my phone last month. Hey, thanks for the hundred dollars!"
Wednesday January 07,
2004
Tags #stolen computer, #boss takes, #employee, #work, #unjust
Transcript
The Boss: It's time to go power shopping. The boss: Nice computer. did you just get it. GAAA!!! The Boss: shopping always puts me in a good mood.
Thursday January 08,
2004
Tags #involuntary sepration, #payroll, #fired, #can't touch anything, #way of saying fired
Transcript
"Ted, you're going to experience an involuntary separation from payroll." "I'm fired." "No-o-o-o. It's just that you won't be part of the payroll system." "And you're not allowed to touch anything."
Friday January 09,
2004
Tags #smokers, #harness energy, #unused computers, #create electricity, #outside everyday, #slope
Transcript
Dilbert: The smokers in this building take hundreds of trips outside to smoke everyday. We can harness that kinetic energy to create electricity ti power their unused computers. pant pant too much slope
Saturday January 10,
2004
Tags #ceo, #speech, #conference, #secretary, #corporate jet, #inhale and exhale
Transcript
The boss: Our CEO is giving a speech at the conference you're attending. Ask his secretary if you can save money by riding together on the corporate jet. He doesn't want to inhale anything you've exhaled.