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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2007's comic on:

Tags #beef, #cake, #diet, #drink kool aid, #eat it too, #just derts, #meat and potatoes, #pie hole, #vendores, #play on words, #food metphors, #health

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The boss: Our meat and potatoes is knowing how to sandwich in our product without causing the other vendors to beef. "We'll get our just desserts when they drink the Kool-Aid. Then we can have our cake and eat it too." Alice: "Are you on a diet?" " The boss: Shut your pie hole."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2007's comic on:

Tags #diet, #expect, #hysterical, #laughing, #sharp focus, #expectations, #outburst, #health

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The Boss: I should warn you that I'm on a diet and might not have the sharp focus that you've come to expect from me. Asok: "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" "I thought of something funny totally on my own."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2007's comic on:

Tags #best donuts, #diet, #employee eats, #top five, #donut eating, #tempting, #envy, #boss diet, #health

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Wally: "How's your diet coming along?" "MM-GUWUNG-MM-GUH-MUH!" "It's hard to pick the one best doughnut I've ever had, but this one is in my top five."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2007's comic on:

Tags #diet, #eating disorder, #first 20 pounds, #diet with buddy, #lose weight, #weight issues, #health

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The Boss: My doctor says it will be easier if I diet with a buddy. Do you want in on this? Tina: Good lord. I think I just developed an eating disorder! The Boss: They say the first 20 pounds are the easiest. Tina: NOT HELPING!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2007's comic on:

Tags #amortize the depreciation, #energency hoagie, #quality of decions, #too hungry, #quality of decisons, #hunger pangs, #effect thinking

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My diet is making me too hungry to listen. I hope that doesn't affect the quality of my decisions. "Amortize the depreciation over the bandwidth of the discount rate." "Don't ask him for anything today." "I brought an emergency hoagie."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2007's comic on:

Tags #diet guru, #fewer groceries, #last meal, #motivation, #murder, #stop eating, #threaten

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Dogbert: Diet Guru Dogcart: Try stuffing fewer groceries down your maw." "I was hoping you'd give me motivation. Stop eating or I'll kill you. The Boss: Would I get a last meal?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2007's comic on:

Tags #made up words, #good laugh, #words, #incentement, #robustify, #flexitate, #leadershipping, #underboard, #moralify

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The Boss: Tina, I need you to edit this before I send it out. Sure. I could use a good laugh. Let's start with the words that aren't words." Incentiment...robustify...flexitate...and leadershipping." "I'll take those out and see what's left." "'If you're not onboard with quality excellence, you're underboard.'" "WA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!" "Why do I even bother trying to moralify these people."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2007's comic on:

Tags #Advice, #avoid facts, #cubicle, #paid commissions, #sales engineer, #truth, #sales rep

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The Boss: I'm making you a sales engineer. You'll be paid on commission." "When our sales reps lie, it will be your job to make it look like the truth." "Try to avoid facts."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2007's comic on:

Tags #heals itself, #sales engineer, #sales rep, #totally true, #truth vs.lies, #questions

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Sales Engineer "Your sales rep told us that the product heals itself. Is that true?" Dilbert: It's totally true...that he said that. sales engineer: Let me ask this another way... Dilbert: NOOO!!! One way per question!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2007's comic on:

Tags #cold learning, #cruelest, #don't wear a coat, #first lesson, #good liar, #sales support engineer, #seeking advice, #how to lie

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Dilbert: I'm a sales support engineer now. Can you teach me to be a good liar? Dogbert: Sure. Meet me on the porch, and don't wear a coat; the cold will help the learning. The first lesson is always the cruelest."