Santa: Merry Christmas, Dogbert! I'm glad you're up... I'm having a little trouble with your christmas list. In your letter you say you want to be named supreme ruler of earth.
Dogbert: Is that a problem?
Santa: Frankly, my workshop is more oriented toward small consumer goods...
Dogbert: Can I have an elf?
Dilbert: Has, G.I. Joe taken up ballet, or is this something I don't want to know about?