DOgbert: "Your network-security product is buggy and complicated." "Your used guide is an inspired work of pure evil."
"And your tech-support department is an inebriated chimpanzee with a typewriter."
"One strategy would be to fix all of those problems."
The Boss: "What's the other strategy?"
Dogbert: "Sell consulting services to your victims... I mean customers!"
The Boss: "I'm so happy, it's making my hair quiver!"
"But what do we do when our consultants can't make our products work either?"
Dogbert: "They're paid by the hour."
The Boss: "QUIVER!!"