"No offense, but you're totally unqualified for this position."
Wally: "That's okay. I already have a job."
"I just need a job offer at a higher salary so I can use it to negotiate for a raise."
Wally: "My boss is an irrational dipwad who is easily manipulated by bogus comparisons and the illusion of scarcity."
Wally: "Your offer will make him think my value is much higher than it actually is."
"Great. Now that I know I can't have you, I desperately want to hire you." "My mind is already forming rationalizations for your total lack of qualifications!" "How do you turn this off?!!"
Wally: "I'll tell you after you write the offer."