The Boss: I told you a week ago that I needed your first draft by today. This is exactly why I say bad things about you behind your back! I need employees I can rely on! Your tardiness and sloth cannot be rewarded.
Dilbert: I gave you the first draft the same day you asked. In fact, I think you're holding it in your hand right now.
The Boss: I'll be back when I figure out how this is still your fault.